Poop Sprinkles

So the other day I went into work and the first thing I did was destroy database tapes with a sledge hammer. Today I went into work and smashed down a wall with a sledge hammer.

Pretty soon I think I'm just going to become a professional sledger.

So yeah. All day at work we moved shit around, and I was given my own office. It contains 2 huge flat screen monitors and a huge fucking chair. It also hold the server and telephone computer, as well as all the laptops we own. It's my geek sanctuary.

Unfortunetly it's also cursed. For some reason the whiteness of the walls tends to drive people crazy, and soon after they quit. It started with old man Burton. Ron (Burton) used that office for 15 years, but eventually it drove him so fucking insane he quit a month or two ago. Seriously. It made him paranoid and live alone with no wife. Now when he sees strange cars in the parking lot he calls the cops and assumes that they are stolen cars dropped off in our parking lot. And if he travels with a truck (bigger than a moving truck) full of A/V equipment, and has to stop at a restaurant, he has to have a seat near a window so he can see the truck. He's afraid someone will steal it, or the stuff inside it.

But when he left it was given to Geoff. Now we call him Geoff Burton. But Geoff was driven insane a couple weeks ago, and now he's leaving. So now the office is mine. Now I'm Derek Geoff Burton. Yeah...I inherited the work of 3 men...and got no raise. Hence wanting to leave to San Diego.

On the bright side our secretary gave me a note (with some money the company owed me for parking and gas expenses) that reads "Hey Derek, You've been one of my favorites from the first day I met you! See you soon, -Andrea"

I guess if I was 45-50 and alone I'd hit that shit.

Seriously though, that note made me feel so happy. I hugged her when I saw her today. A while ago she told me that I remind her of her son (he's my age now I guess), so I kinda feel like her surrogate child. Yeah...this is all normal at BAVServices.

Poker night was fun the other night. Ron, Carrie, Jon, Andrea, Ben, Ashely, Matt, Becker, Kate, OP, Brenna and I played. I kicked everyone's ass so bad. So bad. But I still didn't win. Brenn a won. But then after mostly everyone left, a few of us played another game for a grand prize of $5 (as opposed to $60) and I won. So...I'm not a loser? Well...that's not what everyone might say...

Kate's site has pictures of poker night, check them out.

So yeah, the point I've been working up to, but is hard to create a transition into, is what I've been up to the last two years. I was going to type it story style, but I'm making bacon...and somehow that's more important. So here's the list that I'm making of the events that took place in the last two years. Watch out! It's intense.

-I still love bacon....and meat.
-I still hate the french
-Say10 (the black guinea pig) passed away.
-Brenna moved into Amherst. Yay!
-I purchased Chester, a grey/dusty chinchilla. He's badass and doesn't like people. Ron and I constructed a cage for him out of 2x4's and chicken wire, with nothing but our hands, some wood staples, and a hammer. It was manly.
-Semester ended
-Got a job at Target for the summer. Holy shit that place sucked. But people liked the spikey hair.
-I purchased an Xbox and modded the hell out of it.
-Got job at Game Crazy (video game store)
-Senior year holy crap I feel old. I freak out all the time with miny panic attacks, worrying about how old I'm getting
-School was getting tough (2 semesters of over 30 credit hours each, and a job at Game Crazy and internship at Squeaky Wheel (media production rental/workshop place) made time and sleep non-exsistent factors of my life).
-Brenna's beta fish (x-mas present from my parents) froze to death. Got revived. Then a few days later froze to death again, for good. Mine was still ok though (cause it was in Hadley (apartment on campus))
-I hit a deer doing 70+ m.p.h. on the highway (first animal ever hit, first accident ever) and somehow only damage my driver-side headlight
-Brenna and I had very large relationship problems.
-Over time Brenna and I worked them out and are very happy together.
-I graduated school. It was a lot of work. A LOT of work. But it was fun and Ron and I made some kick-ass videos.
-Moved in with Brenna at her apartment in Amherst (to find out she was in debt, and shit. But I finally have her spending money the right way, so it all worked out)
-Grilled outside a lot and had fun at Wegman's right next to us
-The night after graduation the news ran a story specifically on my family. Emphasising that I graduated, but my grandmother had cancer and my sister was in Australia, and my parents were moving to Charlotte, NC.
-My sister came home from study abroad in Australia, to find out my parents were going to be moving and that my grandmother had cancer. The day after Danielle got home our dog (neufundland) Wookie was put to sleep. Welcome home.
-My parents moved to Charlotte because the Carrier plant in Syracuse my dad worked at was closing.
-Couch outside apartment is stolen by my landlord for not being "tactical." Yeah...he's Indian...is that an excuse?
-I get a job at a gas station (night shift) and after one night full of co-workers snorting cocaine and people buying beer and lotto tickets- driving away drinking, I come home knowing I got the worst job I could ever imagine after just graduating. That afternoon I quit, making it the only job I worked for, for 1 day. And the only job I didn't work for, for more than 3 months.
-Brenna and I plan on moving to L.A. (even though she just got a job at GEICO)
-After a summer of playing video games (beat MANY games) with Eli and many BBQ's with the gang, I landed a job at BAV (Buffalo Audio Visual).
-They gave me a cell phone and traveled me around (almost half the states) to do what I learned in school, it was the awesomest job out of college ever. I was jealous of myself.
-Money makin' money money makin' SUPER DISCO disco shakin' lots of fun traveling, but I really miss home while I'm gone. Comming back always sucks because I feel out of place.
-I purchase GEICO car insurance and save myself up to 15%. Also consolidated my student loans and started paying those off. Wow, why would you possibly care about that?
-Brenna and I moved into downtown Buffalo, a suburb of L.A., just in western NY.
-I create raft (out of scrap wood and bottles and carpet) that no one thinks will float, BUT IT DID!!!
-Brenna and I purchase XM satellite raido (best thing ever) and Netflix movies (mailed too us, then copied to a dvd and mailed back)
-Buffalo fucking sucks when winter rolls around
-Derek goes un-employed for 3 months due to lack of work. Ends up getting screwed over by the unemployment office and hardly recieves any pay. Damn the system. Damn the man.
-Our apartment is cold as a witches tit in a brass bra, pipes start to freeze, then the toilet and bath tub. Leaky ceiling and falling objects become a norm for where we live. Relationship with landlord is comparable to that of a king cobra and a mongoose.
-My Beta fish ("The Nameless One") dies after almost two years of us hardly having to feed him. (It had some weird symbiotic relationship with the water lily and snail that were in that glass vase)
-"Poker Night" is created. Fun is abound.
-Mc Chris comes to Buffalo (you can download most of his songs from his site)
-I shaved my head (byebye hair!)
-Work finally gets a little better
-I purchase first computer ever (I've always made mine), an Alienware Aurora (woo!)
-Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater is released.
-Tristan's (very good friend from Cazenovia (home) during high school) father passes away. I attend first funeral ever. It helped that Steve Googan, Chris, Brandon, and Zach were there.
-Grandmother gets very sick, and after many weeks of hearing she is going to pass away, she finally passed away. First person related to me, friend or family, EVER that has died. Situation not taken lightly.
-Work stops again. Anger ensues.
-Work starts again.
-I purchase a Sony PSP due to the orgasmic screen and value it has during my travels.
-Brenna and I decide to sign a lease for the bottom part of a house a guy I work with (Tony) needs to move out of. Great great price for a great great place.
-We then decide to move to San Diego. But Ron D. said he'd take the house (Tony's) from us, so that's a good thing

If you can think of something that should be added to this list, PLEASE let me know!!! It's more for me, something to look back on.

There Jon and Kate, how's that for a FUCKING UPDATE!!! I HOPE YOUR EYES BLEED TO DEATH TRYING TO READ ALL THIS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

I'm gonna go trade in a bunch of PS1 controllers I found at work today for Katamari Domacy (great game on PS2).

Oh yeah, there was a toga party the other night...maybe Ron will give me pictures of it.

edit: added raft creation to list