^__^

“I'd like to wear a rainbow every day, and tell the world that everything is o.k. But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back. Until things are brighter, I'm the Man in Black.”
-Johnny Cash
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I'm sitting here exhausted, dehydrated, sticky, smelly and greasey. Starring at the screen is burning my eyes, and being awake is burning my...mind. Yeah.

Yeah.

K, here's the weekly re-cap. Prepare to be blown away by the extravaganza that is MY life.

Sunday
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Called my grandparents to say Happy Bday to my grandmother. I love my grandparents. They are awesome, something I've always felt strongly about. Unfortunetly it wasn't until my recent years that I truely understood how much wisdom and life-experience they possess.
Yet still our conversations consistly mostly of "Is the boat in the water?" "How was BINGO?" and "Shoot any squirrels lately?"
Old people are fucking amazing. Why is it that most cultures hold elders in high regards, yet our culture tends to treat them as annoyances and/or outcasts to our society?

My computer crashed right before I called them. I fixed it rather quickly, thank god. I hate when my computers break, or anything for that matter. When random inconviences pop up in my life it totally freaks me out (on the inside), yet if shit hits the fan at work, I'm as cool as a cucumber.
I guess cucumbers are lucky they never have to use computers. Then they wouldn't be so fuckin' cool would they.
WOULD THEY.

Later that evening I hung out with Sha and Frankie, while Sha got her hair dyed red.
I wanted to lick it.
I didn't.
You know me and red hair. We're like this. 'crossess fingers'
Plus Sha is the 2nd tiniest thing EVER (more on that a little further on), and adorably mexican. She's the kind of girl you can't help but hug. Or carry around on your back...you know what I mean right?
Frankie also tried to explain to me the symantecs of PROFESSIONAL hair dying solution and the numbers corresponding the chemicals.
Fuck that shit. Manic Panic (hair dye) had the right idea with names like "Electric Banana,"Raven Black," "Purple Haze," and "Ultra Violet."
I also watched a Madonna DVD Frankie had playing. The performances were pretty fucking elaborate, and the video footage they used on the stage screens was incredable. Working on concert stock footage would be fun. It was all like, models wearing camo walking down a fashion runway, slowly getting blown away by guns and grenades while trying to strut the catwalk or carry other wounded soldier-models off it.
Cool shit like that.

I couldn't hang out with them to long though 'cause there was a BBQ at Don's, and they needed the chairs he had left at my apartment.
So Sha came and checked out ma' pad, and then Jay and I hiked it to Don's with collapsible chairs in hand.
Metal chair rods + Boney shoulders = Ow. 'step' Ow. 'step' Ow.
It was funny. When we got to Don's place Jay barged in the door and screamed "Here's your FUCKING CHAIRS!!!"
Apparently he didn't notice all of Don's family was sitting there as fast as I did.
So I got to meet a co-workers family (ha, not to categorize Don as a co-worker, because he's OH so much more), watched some "Entourage" on HBO, then hiked it home to watch some "Band of Brothers."


Monday
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I came home and taped together the rest of the giant L.A. map I've been working on.
2 rolls of tape, and about 100 sheets of paper later, it now occupies the greater space of one wall.

I started also started season 2 of "24." Season 1 was pretty good, and so far I like how the plot has carried over to the second season...er..."day."

That's it man. That damn map sucked up the whole night.


Tuesday
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So Ed Hardy, a very trendy and expensive clothing line, rents space in our building to store their clothes in.
Madonna was there to check it out (no idea why) and was wandering around in our parking lot for a little while.
She looked at me and smiled.
I'm pretty sure I got her pregnant.

I was tired all day. I keep going to bed at 2 a.m. every night. Work just really isn't working out with my social life.
Plus I bike a lot. I'm a regular Lance fucking Armstrong.
Except no one cares if I do drugs.

After work I went and hung out at Anthony's. Some guys from Buffalo were visiting, so there was a lot of sitting around playing video games, drinking beer, and eating Del Taco.
I felt bad for Anthony, his girlfriend flipped out on him the night before via 30+ txt messages to his cell phone, ultimately breaking up with him somewhere within all the TXT.
The quote of the night was definately, "I've never seen a girl dump herself like that before. Let alone through text messaging."

On my way home from Anthony's, a man of african decent singled me out on the train. He was droppin' lines all freestyle to some phat beat comming from his cellphone. Let me try to re-inact a little portion of this hip hop travisty:
"And you know.
and you know.
you know we's like bro's.
you
yeah you whities
gotta take the crown off your head
stop treatin us like ho's.
yeah.
yeah.
see
if you realize that theres more of us than you
and the mexicans too
and that we all want to get along
take the crown off your head
you had your money handed to you
we were as lucky as you
yeah
yeah
now we gotta share
it's everyones world
come on."

I swear to god most of that was word-for-word.
So I sat there the whole time smiling. When he finally paused I asked him why he thought I had money. He said because my grandfathers were slave drivers.
It's hard to be polite when someone says something like that to you. But you don't argue racial politics on a subway, so the best I could do was shake his hand, give him a pound dog followed by a brotherly hug and tell him to keep workin on his free-style.


Wednesday
-----------
Made a bowl of popcorn and carried it downstairs to watch some Discovery Channel "Shark Week" at Frankie's.
It rocked. I love sharks. Alex does not.


Thursday
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Scarface - "Yo.. the guy.. did you kill my dog?"
The Guy - " ... " sits halfway up and shakes his head.
Scarface "I believe him yo, I don't know why, but I do."

You haven't lived in California until you've made friends with prescriptions for medical marijuana. Seriously people, this state not only elected The Terminator for it's governor, but it scoffs at federal drug laws.
Don't get me wrong, N.Y. is ma' blood yo'. But SHIIIIIIIIIT. Living next to Hollywood is like being on vacation every day.
So yeah. I scored some medical mary-jane. I don't want to sound like a pothead. Ch, you're not a pothead until you start quoting "Half Baked"...
'cough'
I'll be honest though. It was the shit. I have no shame in admitting that I would rather smoke legally bought and regulated weed than put up with the troubles of alcohol ANY day.

I proceeded to watch a shitload of "24" and devour a bag of Funyuns.

O.k. that was two "Half Baked" related things...might as well toss in this little diddy:
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
Mother, mother fuck,
Mother, mother fuck, fuck
Mother fuck, mother fuck,
Noich noich noich,
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4,
Noich, noich noich
Smokin' weed, smokin' wizz,
Doin' coke, drinkin' beers,
Drinkin' beers, beers, beers,
Rollin' fattys, smokin' blunts,
Who smokes the blunts?
We smoke the blunts.
Rollin' blunts and smokin'...

"Uh, let me get a nickel bag."

Fifteen bucks, little man,
Put that shit in my hand,
If that money doesn't show,
Then you owe me, owe me, owe,
My jungle love, yeah,
Owe-ee, owe-ee, owe,
I think I want to know ya, know ya,
Yeah, what?


Friday
------
I honestly don't remember what I did on Friday. Maybe it'll come to me later...


Saturday
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I intended on getting up semi-early (8 a.m.) and going to the library and post office. Instead Don called me at 11ish chanting the phrase "Wake and bake! Wake and bake!"
God bless that kid.
So to my surprise I actually did make a quick trip to the post office (well, as quick as a post office on a Saturday afternoon can be) and then a gruelling bike-ride to a ghetto-ass library that wouldn't give me a card because my drivers license didn't have a local address, and I didn't have any official documents proving I was local.
And here I thought we lived in the UNITED. Let me emphasize that a little more, UNITED States of America.
Oh well, it's the price you pay to live in a place where weed is legal despite the rest of the country's 'ttude.
So that was a wasted trip down dangerous busy roads with no helmet. But at least I got excericise...er...extra smog intake.

Then Don came over and we grilled ribs, played Katamari Damacy and watched "Stacy." All of those things are amazing alone. Combined they are.
Super amazing.

Then he left and I was bored and couldn't think of anything to do. But then the phone rang, initiating one of those rare instances where you spend multiple DAYS with a friend.
It was Brit, she wanted to go see Miami Vice. So we went to Universal Studios and saw the midnight showing of it.
I have to admit, I think I could have shot a better movie- considering it was done with HD cameras instead of film. All of the blacks were so muddy looking. I guess I should be blaming whatever post house they used.
Perhaps it was the asthetic they were going for?
Whatever. There were explosions and people getting shot in the face. That's all I really expected anyways ;)
When we got out of the movie Universal was desolate. It's weird to see the spinning trademark "Universal" globe with no tourists taking their pictures next to it.
All of the neon lights to all the stores, restaraunts and bars were still turned on at City Walk too, but there were NO people.
It was very surreal.


Sunday
-------
Brit woke me up with "We're going to the beach, wanna come?"
Now don't get me wrong, it's great to be woken up with something to do for the day. The catch is, when Brit says lets do something it takes her like, negative 5 minutes before she's at my apartment door.
Thankfully putting on a swimsuit doesn't involve underwear, so that was one less step to worry about.
So, her, her bro and sis, and her bro's girlfriend piled into the Outback and drove through tons of hills and dessert to get to some beach in Malibu. Now would probably be the best time to mention that her brothers girlfriend is by far the tiniest human being I have ever met in my life (midgets aside). Petite doesn't even begin to cover the amount of adjective it would take to accurately describe the size of this girl. She wears a size 1 shoe.
So we hung out at the beach. Worked on my sun burn a little, which is a consequence I accepted, knowing full well that my burns turn into tans pretty quick.
It strikes me as odd that our society looks down on public nudity so readily, yet sees no problem in sprawling on towels wearing next to nothing (as well as getting sweaty, wet and oily) amongst hundreds of other strangers.
I also found odd the overwhelming percentage of very attractive people at the beach.
It is in fact no wonder why girls look great here, look at the social pressure they have to face.
Girls that are ugly by worldy standards are effin' FUGLY by L.A. standards.
Way to go social pressure.
Way to go.

Eventually we went back to Brit's house to drop off the rest of the crew, and then went to my pad to do all sorts of shit.
It started with Brit making spaghetti (or if you're Kai: pah-skgetti), along with opening many bottles of beer for me.
No pressure on the girls reading this, but when you readily open beer for guys you automatically become awesome. Not only are you letting them keep their lazy ass on the couch, but you are silently encouraging them to drink more alcohol.
Then we watched "Walk the Line." I've give it a thumbs up. If you haven't seen it you might as well rent it. I never realized just how bad Johnny Cash was into drugs, or how closely he toured with Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis.
He's also good at breaking sinks off walls.

After that Brit, Jay and I went to a pool hall somewhere closer to where Brit lives. It was pretty sweet cause they let you smoke inside. In this instance we can see the correlation between California breaking federal law, and pool halls breaking state law.
It's all about breaking the law people.
Breakin' the law.
Breakin' the law.
So yeah. Brit handed our asses to us in pool, while we smoked and listened to such bowling-alley-white-trash classics as, "Linkin Park," "Metallica" and "Lynyrd Skynyrd." And then to add insult to injury, she proceeded to wreck us at Street Fighter 3 Alpha Strike.
I'm no good at fighting games. Fighting games are like the "country music" of video games to me. I love every other genre.

Then we went home and I handed ass right back to Jay and Brit. Yeah that's right. Bitches.
More drinking ensued and Brit talked trash to many a peoples on Live!.

It all ended many of bottles of beer later, at around...4:30 a.m.


Monday
---------
Brit and I called in sick. There was no reason to go to work. It just isn't as fun as laying around ALL day watching "Kill Bill 1 & 2" and "Futurama."
The drinking started at 11 a.m., and the spaghetti kicked in later on.
Brit left at around 5 or 6-ish I think. Then I started writing this update.

Perhaps the intro makes a little more sense now that you fully understand the amount of sun-bathing, alcohol, smoking, and general bumming around that was involved. And trust me, I was LONG due for a shower.
It was strange though, as I started writing this I was hit by a wave of loneliness. When you hang out with a specific person for that long it gets weird once you're NOT with them.
So I called my parents and talked to them for quite a while, then Brenna called so we caught up on stome stuff. Then I plopped down on the ol' computer to start writing this long-ass monstrosity of an essay.
Lucky for me before I even finished tryping about Monday, Brit called me up to hang out.

I was happy again.

We went to get Jamba Juice, but it was closed so ended up settling for the last of the beer. She also brought over CRAZY AWESOME cookies that her mom made.
CRAZY AWESOME.
We watched "Perfect Blue," and "Blood: The Last Vampire," continuing to perfect the couch groove.
Then we watched the FUNimation channel (a free anime station my tv picks up), which basically consisted of boobs, ass, and upskirt shots of anime chicks.

At some point it all came to an end. Brit left and I stayed awake a little longe typing the good majority of this update until it was 3 a.m. I was so worn out from the past couple days I fell asleep on my keyboard, and kinda remember crawling to my bed.


Tuesday
---------
Woke up SO tired. SOOOO tired.

One of my contacts was scratching my eye, upon further inspection I found a rip in it. Tiny rips hurt when they are in YOUR EYE.
So I wore glasses to work.
I hate wearing glasses all day because they make my face feel all gross and greasey.
The day went by pretty quick. Nothing too exciting happened.
I walked over to our accounts house and helped him network his Xbox360 to his computer. He had a 60" DLP HDTV.
I think I peed my pants a little.

And now I'm sitting on the couch typing this with a company MacBook Pro, while I watch the rest of season 2 of "24."

Don is downstairs using our gym. When he comes back up we'll probably get pizza or some shit.

Alright people, that's it for now. I commend you for making it this far if you're reading this, and I'll have pics of the apartment up soon!

edit: Brit came over again. Let's see how long of a streak we can do this for...