The Uncanny Valley

Your face is an uncanny valley. Biaaaatch!
http://www.arclight.net/~pdb/nonfiction/uncanny-valley.html


January 5 to Present Day
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Wow, this time I really let myself go. It'll be impressive if I can do a semi-decent job of catching up...

Actually I'm just going to do a very half-ass job of it because I'm really really sick right now with some sort of super-Flu. It makes my joints all feel like someone pounded them with a hammer, and my eyes kinda burn just looking at the computer screens. Hey, at least the profuse sweating has stopped...

I saw "Pans Labyrinth" with Caroline (she had never been to the Arclight before!!!). It was really really good...and...Spanishy.
Also took her to trivia night 1 or 2 times, but then everyone stopped going for a while because of a video trailer project (mentioned later).

The new season of "24" started, as did "Lost", but in all honesty I've found "Heroes" to be the winner of my cathode-ray heart this winter television season.

Matt Ardine had a party. Good times were had. My soon-to-be intern, Andrew, was there. That was kinda nifty.
There was also a kid that brought his own brand of water, "U-Dubb 2 0." The label even had a self-proclaimed quote, "It's the realist water I've ever drunk."
You crazy Emerson-ites....

Gears of War has slowly taken over my evening life. Now that Brett and Matt (his bro), Erik and Emily, Steve, and a bunch of their friends play, it's like I'm right back on the East Coast...with...a chainsaw.
As an added bonus they all like to sleep, so I don't get stuck playing too late on my West Coast time zone...unlike them! SUCKAZ!

It is official!!! My parents will be moving to Lake Tahoe in a couple weeks! Damn that was quick...

Huh, at this point I had made a note to post a picture comparing Caroline's height next to mine. Since I still have no such photo (I don't think she'd appreciate if I posted the one comparing her height to a pillow) you will have to visualize me standing next to a miniature pony. With only 2 legs. And...yeah...I guess no tail....

I have interns slaving in the mines of Moviola at this point. One is a lady, and other is a gent. Um. I like them both? And ultimately have hung out with both of them outside of work. One of them is much more comfortable to hug...I'll let you determine whom on your own.

I haven't gone to Subway in quite some time. I fear I've broken Mango's (the gay cashier that likes to touch my hand while gazing into my eyes and reciting "Would you like to make that a..." 'wink' "...cooooooombo?") heart by now, and can't bear to stand up to what remains of his shattered soul.
And...I'm kinda sick of the turkey...

Alright, so remember that video trailer I had mentioned? There is a contest being held by Rob Rodriguez to make a 2 min. long 70's exploitation style trailer, in homage to his/Tarentino's soon-to-be released "Grindhouse."
Link to their trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/grindhouse.html

So Don and a bunch of his fellow Emersonites (such as Erial, Doody, Sully, etc.) banded together and formed a production company under the name of Modern Exploits, who's first project was going to be shooting a trailer for the above competition.
I wasn't exactly invited into this project with open arms, assumabley because I'm not a full-blooded Emersononian, only an honorary one.
Perhaps if I shed the blood of a lamb...and lose my virginity to an Emersonian...on the eve of a full moon...on the 13th...of the 10th cycle...I can become one...?
Until then, I merely sit back and let them do the think-tanking. Then I provide them with equipment and give them a hand when needed.

I suppose this works out well because...well...imagine Derek in a room of self-proclaimed producers.
I can't imagine this scenario would defer greatly from that of a rabid fox accidentally wandering into a legless-hen roost.

Anyyyyyywho....here's a link to the final product (the first couple seconds seem to have some funky encoding issues, just wait it out) "Too Dead To Die":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv4rYh49530

The best part of the shoot was definitely having free range over an empty house that's about to be demolished...wait for it...in the middle of Beverly Hills. (In the video, it's the house with the pool...)

Kate bought a toy of significant proportion and named it after yours truly. In return if she ever gets married to an impotent man I will be first to volunteer to "help" them have a child.

Bought tickets for this years Coachella. It looks to be funking amazing...Gogol Bordello and Peaches will be there, and hell, Rage Against the Machine is re-uniting just for shits and giggles (supposedly only for this one show).
4 days of camping. 3 days of rocking. 2 days of being sun-burned. 1 day of not wanting to be back at work.
Can't wait.
Here's the line-up:


Caroline brought me to an event by the name of "Channel 101." It was pretty freakin' cool, basically you watch 10 pilots for possible TV shows and vote on 5 that you'd want to see the next episode. Those 5 then make the next episode, while also help voting in the next 5 candidates from anyone that wants to submit a pilot.
Very simple concept....very hilarious shit.
Apparently it's how Jack Black got his start (he did appear in one of the pilots that aired).
If you live in NYC you may want to check out Channel 102, it's the bastard child of the same concept...

I decided, while...impaired..., that seeing as to how there are different classes of drivers licenses, perhaps there should be a "Left on Red License." Because I for one know that I would be capable of upholding that license in a safe and responsible manner.
Of course...I decided this while impaired...

Watched "Idiocracy" and "Death of a President." Both of them were pretty damn entertaining, but both of them are also too political for most of the people I know, therefore do not deserve the raving reviews I would usually follow up the mention with.

Caroline and I are on a break? I'm not even going to get into this one right now.

Matt Sully had his Bday party at the Kibitz Room. Iiiiiit was pretty interesting. I'm gonna have to say that was the first time I've seen a what seemed-to-be 'Nam 'Vet make a "Gin and Tonic" using a high-ball glass, about 2 cups of vodka, and a dash of Guinness.
Aside from the obvious humor, screw-ups like this usually came free-of-charge...

I was supposed to hang out with Brenna for the 2nd time since the epic break-up (the first time was soon after it...and was kinda awkward). But she flaked out on me because now she's totally a flaky bitch.
I just got off the phone with her and told her I was about to write this part in my blog...see what you get for telling me to be nice?
She's a face too.

Had a funny antic dote at work. It all started with:
"WHO WAS VIDEO TAPING MY ASS!?!"
Suzie was testing a camera by putting one of our test-tapes in it to make sure it recorded and played back, and it appears that a day before I had inadvertently captured footage of Suzie's ass, which she saw upon review of the tape.
Now most girls I know would know that I try to hold myself above things like that, or at least being dumb enough to hit the record button while doing so. Truth be told, the camera was on the workbench which just happens to be about waist level. She was the only thing in the room that was already in front of the camera at that point, and at a far enough distance that I could zoom in and out and do some rack focusing. So I captured footage of her WAIST.
Meh...like you have an ass Suzie. ;)

Elise came to visit me, as did my parents (they figured they'd stop in L.A. while they were on their move to Nevada). Unfortunately my parents kept switching the arrival date so that it went from Saturday, to Friday, to Thursday- the day after Valentine's Day. Of course I felt obligated to hang out with Elise, which left Valentine's Day as the only viable option (for her time frame).

Unfortunately I had told Caroline I'd still be her Valentine previous to all of these changes (despite the fact that I didn't know being a Valentine obligated me to spend that evening with her...I guess that was just stupid on my part because every girl I've asked told me I was a retard and of course it meant I was going to spend that evening with her). So obviously it became quite the debacle/juggling act very quickly.

Yet here I stand, unscathed for the most part.

I got to hang out with Caroline in the afternoon, had a great time catching up with Elise (and getting rocked at Dr. Mario), and got to show my parents both Long Beach and NoHo (North Hollywood for you that aren't down with the lingo).
Both my parents were very sick though, so I didn't really get a chance to take them out anywhere neat, or do anything too unique with them (aside from drive them around a lot). BUT, that's o.k., because now they only live 8 hours from me :)

Saturday night I went out and met up with Suzie so I could witness her dancing skillz (yet to be seen at Club Moviola). In the process I somehow coaxed Steve, Chris and Andrew to drop by, so I didn't have to hold up the wall alone (even though they would actually dance...).

Sunday I spent a lot of time on the phone with Brenna, because apparently that's what we do now ('scratches head' didn't she used to HATE talking on the phone?).
Suzie came over and we watched "The Princess Bride." It was weird because I had all these vague memories of certain scenes that I never knew what movie it was from, and what do you know, it was this movie!
Of course around the time she came over was about the time it started to dawn on me that I had probably caught the virus my mom had (it was matching her symptoms).

And that leaves me where I am today. Sick as fuck and wondering if I'll be able to stay awake long enough to watch a sure to be shitty episode of Lost. (Is trivia night ever going to catch on again?)

I suppose I should leave you with some sort of reward for drudging through this swamp of vocabulary...go see "The Prestige." Honestly, I'd say it was the sleeper hit of the year. It was fucking outstanding.