Good times never seemed so good

I've been inclined.
To believe they never would.


Alright, this update is sure to sicken the minds of many. It's probably going to get pretty cutesy, consider yourself warned.

Friday 15th
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I spent the majority of the day talking to Caroline on AIM, which doesn't seem interesting right now- but it adds to the bloggishness further down.

When I got home I talked to Caroline for quite some time (ultimately hindering her ability to hos a party), while waiting to go adventure with Don.
You're probably starting to see where this is going...

So Don and I went over the Chris' with cheap whiskey and beer in hand, and ultimately watched a good majority of Vibe's DVD (Vibe...the magazine), and played Tekken 5.


Saturday 16th
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I spent the majority of the day talking to Caroline.

Isn't reading this EXCITING!? ;)

Which lead up to the event of the night (or...was it) Don and Matt's "Xmas Sweater Party." I showed up to their place to find xmas lights strung about, yuletide log aflame, finely hung wreaths, and classic xmas song (mashes) lingering in the air.

Oh, and Matt's GAY ASS AROMATIC CANDLE.

God that thing was gay.

At this point I wasn't aware the party had a theme, but once informed I felt it was my god-given duty to dapper myself up.
So I trucked it back on home, and returned with a tight-ass 3-piece-suit, slicked down hair, glasses, and classic tobacco pipe. (I didn't have any sweaters, so I figured the Classic Professor look would do)
LET THE FAMILY PHOTO'S BEEEEEGIN!!!

Oh man, wait 'till you see some pictures. The "Power Stance" was alive that night. Boy was it alive.
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Power Stance- When approaching someone for conversation, take one foot and rest it on the highest nearest object while tugging your pant leg up a little (to make room for "the boys"). Continue to converse as normal.
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One highlight of the party was Matt being completely tore-up and yelling about how his mom wouldn't ever let him buy canned "snow" to spray on windows.
Obviously he finally got his revenge...which resulted in my spraying a giant snow penis on their window.

Throughout the night I recieved various messages from...

wait for it...

wait for it...

Yup.

Caroline.

She was off doing...........things........'awkward stare'..........but wanted to meet up at some point.

That point was around 4 a.m. near the transvestite district of downtown Hollywood.


Sunday 17th
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(continued from the "Xmas Sweater Party")
It was kind of awkward driving less-than-sober to an unfamiliar apartment, to sit on a couch with a less-than-sober Caroline, to watch East Coast timed cartoons (Direct TV doesn't adjust for West Coast time zone...?).

Thankfully the whole experience became quite euphoric within the next (aprox.) 24 hours.

Hahaha...yes. We literally hung out on her couch the whole day, going in and out of sleep.

And it was fucking awesome.


Monday 18th
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Called in sick to work.

After having spent the ENTIRE weekend either drinking or talking to Caroline (while running on very little, and very inconsistent sleep), it was decided that Monday would best be spent sleeping in- followed by talking to Caroline.

A watch I ordered from Japan on Thursday night (Friday morning "Nippon" time), arrived via U.S. Postal Service at around 2 p.m.
A) How did a package get processed and shipped within a span of a weekend?!?
B) Since when was the U.S. Postal Service efficient at delivering packages!?

The watch is fucking awesome, go here to check it out:
http://www.tokyoflash.com/viewwatch99W2fusion-watch.html

The watch band was too loose, so I decided to drive to Moviola (around 4) to use some tools, with the intention of going Xmas Shopping after that.
As fate would have it, Caroline was in the shopping center I had intended to whore myself out to.

The shopping center...not...her...

So I spent about an hour trying to figure HOW THE FUCK to adjust my watch band, and let me tell you! It was NOT an easy puzzle to solve.

But I did it.

Cause I'm a fuckin' badass ninja.

Bitch.

So I met Caroline at Jamba Juice where she was sipping a strawberry smoothie...while sitting under a bulletin board with a printed notice saying "WARNING! A shipment of strawberries we have recieved has been deemed biologically unsafe..."

"Soooo baba'. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow....would you uh...'wink wink'..."

We went to Target so I could start my Xmas shopping. That lasted a whole 1 minute. (It was decided that I should procrastinate even longer, as to avoid the ridiculous mayhem of 5:30 p.m. Xmas shopping).

Drove Caroline around to run some errands, and went back to her apartment.

Well...the street NEXT to her apartment.

Why go inside when you can spend 3 hours hanging out in a Toyota Tercel listening to some sweet MP3ZZZzzzs!!!1!zz

That was magical.

'shrug' No. I don't even know if I was being sarcastic or not.


Tuesday 19th
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Spent most of the afternoon talking to Caroline on the phone. Work has been pretty dead lately, not many people start productions during the holiday season.
So I just sat here leaned back in my chiar, legs kicked up on my desk, talking to her for (what seemed) her entire drive to San Diego.

If you didn't catch the lyrics that I started the post out with (including the title), now may be the time to look into it.

After work I went over to Matt and Don's, had some beers, watched some cheesey horror movies, kicked some ass at Guitar Hero, and called it a night.

You know. Aside from going home and talking to Caroline.


Wednesday 20th
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Spent the majority of the day talking to Caroline as she drove BACK from San Diego (I officially went there and back without leaving work), as well as giving her "On-Star"-like directions to various locations (thanks Maps.Google).

Went Xmas shopping too! Got almost everything I needed in ONE hour. I went to Target and was like BAM! Then I went to Best Buy and was like BAM! Then I went to some whole-in-the-wall video game store and was like BAM!

After work I went to a toy store called "Wacko's." It reminded me of the shops that are underground in Seattle's "Pike." It was full of wanky action figures and Japanese import robot toys.
And rubber lobsters.
It also had an art gallery smack dab in the center, which was showing off EXTREMELY Mark Ryen-esque paintings.

Then I went to Caroline's to hang out for a little bit (she watches anime...<3).

She made me sloppy joe AND I even ate some.

I also got to walk her dog...

Yeah. You don't have to tell me. I already know.


Oh! And Jen (cunt) decided to call me a million times and send me text messages saying things similar to "Honey, the baby and I are home, are you still at your mothers?"
Hilarious Jen. ;)

Ok. This is probably going to be the last post until I get back from my trip to NY. So I hope you all have a safe holiday, and I'll be seeing a good deal of you for New Years!!!!! WOoooOOOooOO!!!

DINOSAUR BBQ ISN'T GONNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HIT IT!!!


Caroline-O-Meter
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In this update the word "Caroline" was used 16 times up to this point.
Derek has clocked an estimated 40+ hours talking to Caroline on AIM.
The name "Caroline" appears 70+ times in Derek's cell-phone.

I can't believe you just read all this.


EDIT:
Thursday 21st
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Went to a kick-ass cafeteria (Clifton's Cafeteria) for lunch today with a bunch of people I work with. We did a $10 (has to be a funny gift) secret santa. Seeing as the cafeteria was located in downtown L.A. where all the mexican knock-off shops are, you can only imagine what types of insanity were wrapped in cheap bags.

Tonight I'm supposed to assist Caroline on another drive to San Diego. Hey, why the hell not. Long drives usually lead to some interesting conversations, or at the very least an excuse to listen to my Ace of Base CD.