48 Hour BBQ: The Aftermath

Let me tell you a tale about the greatest BBQ man has ever seen...



It all started with a trip to Buffalo, NY. After a long days work in Hollywood, CA followed by a gruelling red-eye flight, Derek landed in Buffalo, NY where he was surprised by his parents and sister.
After spending the day with them Derek, and one of his bestest buddies Ron, took a trip to Wegmans (the greatest grocery store on Earth) and proceeded to buy over $300 worth of meat and beer. They then went to Ron's home where Derek, despite being tired as fuck, mustered up the energy to stay awake until sunrise constructing the greatest burgers man would ever taste.


Little did Derek know that when that much love and manliness is rubbed into ground beef...


...the magical Meat-Man appears and grants you three wishes!


Derek's first wish was to eat him.


His second wish was to sleep with Ron, something that used to be done with frequency, but was ended when Derek moved. (Ron, black as the night and twice as deadly, sleeps with both eyes open.)


Derek's third wish was to harness the power of the Enternal BBQ Flame of BBQ.


Content with his three wishes, Derek sat down next to another of his best buddies, Erik, and thought to himself, "Today is going to be a meaty day."


Soon after- the first of many burgers were BBQ'd, a bottle of Dinosaur BBQ Sauce close at hand!


Behold! The first 48 Hour BBQ Burger!


Eli (not pictured) volunteered to be the burger tester for this grand event. After mumbling "miffff fucgggg mmmmm!" with a full mouth, and giving a thumbs up signal, it had been decided that the meating was ready to begin.

This made Dudley and Jim happy.



The blood of many had been spilt on the Apron of BBQ.


While sitting next to his sister, Danielle, Derek comtemplated how the cat in the neighbors lawn would make for an excellent feline-jerky.


After eating much meat and still lacking any significant amount of sleep, Derek was offered a gift from Emily and Erik (also known as Emerik).
The gift of Type II Diabetes.
It was an offering of pizza made purely of sugar and high fructose corn syrup.


The dextrose dough was laid, then the sucrose sauce spread...


...topped with crystalline corn syrup cheese...


...and bits of pure gummy.


To see her brother consume such a concoction was far too much for Danielle to take. Alas, clutching a pillow didn't save Derek from his tooth-rot demise.


There was much drinking...


Constant argument over the "Pink Beer Cozey"...


And Eli was SOUSED! (later resulting in a locked car door, which we MANLY/drunkenly opened with a fucking clothes hanger, stick of wood, man-spatula and curtain rod. WOO! Fuck you AAA we're MEN!)


Actually...everybody was soused.


Derek was often caught surrounded by large groups of beautiful women.


As meat and beer filled the bowels of any living being within the power of the Enternal BBQ Flame of BBQ, the day slowly turned to night.


The stoop had become prime territory.


Even the ellusive OP was drawn from his dwelling in the bushes to partake in the behemoth bovine banquet.


Humans from every corner of the country gathered for this event of events.


As dark turned into light many went home to sleep and process their meat. Yet the mighty remained to drink, converse, and rock out! They were the determined few who kept the 48 BBQ alive.


After gallons of beer, pounds of meat, and grams of sugar, Derek grew delirious- exsisting in a reality where shoes-on-heads makes sense.


The aftermath of Day One left a grave sight of consumable goods behind.


Some had walked away...


...but many had fallen.


Even the pineapple couldn't escape unscathed.


For the "BBQ Warriors" it was a time to rest for some...


...and a time to sharpen weapons for others.


Day Two had commenced.


The Eternal BBQ Flame of BBQ was still strong, fueled by the souls of thousand of dead animals...and charcoal.


Nothing says good morning like some burgers, dogs, and a giant seasoned pork loin.


The scent of blood drew many a female, as well as some newly-weds.


Day Two was quieter than it's predecessor, but proved that in the company of friends quality is better than quantity...


...which is not the case for beer...



As eve grew, innocence turned into horny drunkeness...


...boobs were fondled...


...legs were humped...


...and clothing was optional.


Only one thing could tame the loins of the drunken BBQers. DRINKING JENGA.


A game of skill.


Concentration.


And inevitable drinking and stripping.


The night wore on, and by morning the souls of even the strongest had been shattered.


After well over 400 bottles of beer, 70 lbs. of meat, and 80-100 people, the bbq was comming to an end (except for Ron and Derek, who continued to BBQ for days...). It was an epic 48 hours.

48 Hours...of BBQ.




Alright, a good majority of close friends that showed up weren't pictured in the above story. It's unfortunate, but that's what happens when Derek doesn't bother to bring a digital camera and falls to the mercy of leeching pictures off of others.

That's it for now peeps. As Erik is thinking in the picture below "BLARGITY BLAR BLAR!"




P.S.-
I'm hoping to make the 48-Hour-BBQ a yearly thing. We'll have to see who stays where, but it seems to me, now that all of us are spread so thin across the country, we should make an annual reunion :)
Of BBQ.