Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway

Here's a thought for you:

"The Iron Idol"

Think about that for a minute, let the phrase stew around in your head.

Done? Ok. So it's my greatest idea ever, and I'm sure it will be done. Instead of having the same lame old American Idol competition every year, they mix it up a little. An "Idol" goes all the way until the end, beats out all the opponents and what-not, and then they have to face The Iron Idol. It'd be like, Whitney Houstan...or Barbara Streisand, and it would be spectacular.


Here's another thought for you:

Most animals are probably inbred. That's why they're so stupid.

I mean, think about it. Most mammals live in packs. There's the alpha male, alpha female, and they get it on. So they have little hairy whatevers, and the pack raises them. Then the pack humps them when they grow up. Then 2 of those children somehow become the alpha male and female again, and it starts all over. The cycle only involves the same pack over and over though. I'm pretty sure packs don't usually inter-mingle. So wouldn't this lead to some crazy inbreeding? Probably. Hence- animals are retarded.

Humans are also retarded, but let's not get into that 'cough cough Bush cough"


Here's another thought for you:

CrestTM is taking over your bathroom.

The other night I'm watching T.V. (same night I had the above ideas) and a Crest commercial comes on for a toothbrush they're making that dispenses it's own toothpaste.

Thank you almighty God. Once again by giving us free will we have proven how fucking stupid we are.

Was it EVER a hassle to get toothpaste from a tube to your toothbrush? I mean...this one....this one is just beyond me.

When are they going to make a hairspray dispensing brush? OH YEAH! THEY ALREADY DID IN THE 80's! AND IT SUCKED!!!

So I laugh at the commercial and ponder the type of people that would buy such a contraption, when all of the sudden another Crest commercial comes on. Crest alchohal free mouthwash- it doesn't burn like Listerine.

First off, if it doesn't burn how do I know it's working!

Second off....since when has there been a war raging between companys on who gets to take over my bathroom? Seriously. There is some head dude at Crest that is like "We need to take out Listerine. What do we got?" and some zit headed intern was like "How about mouthwash that doesn't burn!" and head dude said, "DAMNIT! THIS KIDS A GENIUS!"

People waste their liiiiiiiiiiiives on stuff like this. There's people volunteering their lives to help bring clean water to 3rd world counties, and we have head dude at Crest trying to take over our bathrooms.

I guess the only thing left to say, to wrap this up, is- some countries have people getting sick and possibly dying from salt deficiencies, we sprinkle it out of a jar on almost anything we can.

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Konichi wa, Mitsubishi, Kamikazee, Wasabi, Sony, Kristi Yamaguchi, Donkey Kong, Kawasaki, Rice-a-Roni, Sushi, Kathie Lee, Tsunami, Karate, Cheech and Chong, Nintendo, Mojo Jojo, Tae Kwan Do, Quasi Moto, Pokemon, Yoko Ono, Ichiro, Gung Ho, Kikoman, Hibachi, Origami, Mr. Kobayashi, Ceiling fan, Atari, Teriyaki, Wang Chung, Chop suey, Goo goo g’joob, Tofu, Haiku, Fubu, Fu man cho, Kajagoogoo, Kung Fu, Vera Wang, Honda, Yoda, Abe Vigoda, Toshiba, Sega, Kama Sutra, Godzilla, Poon tang, Domo arigato Mr. Roboto.

"Happy Fun Song"- Sojh