What the hell is a Moviola?

Oh my god it's been so long since I've updated!!! Christ, last I knew I wanted to talk more about my Thanksgiving...now it's damn near Xmas (replaced Christmas 1000 years ago....for all you Futurama fans).

Um...Brenna's car broke down on the way home after Thanksgiving. There was not much thanks being gaven.

Days later we decorated our apartment with xmas lights, tinsel, and DAMN annoying glitter filled cotton...which claims to be "snow." Last I remember snow was niether cottony nor full of annoying-ass glitter. We also put the fake frost in our windows, to make it feel like it's cold enough to make our windows frost...even though the sun and palm trees are right outside.

Hey, at least this year we don't have to worry about hypothermia when we go to sleep (remember our "no heat" incident of last winter?). And just in case it does ever drop below 62 degrees, we have a free gas heat...take that cold. I have effectively dodged you for the first time in my life.

About 3 weeks ago I read this quote and thought it was HIlarious. Considering OP is probably my single greatest "blog fan" I feel that this quote is not wasted within my blog:
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"Floppy drives are so 1990s." I tried to build my PC without one, a tragic mistake once I discovered that you still need floppies in order to install certain drivers before you can install Windows. Floppy disk drives are like umbilical cords while you build your PC, and after you're all set up they remain there unused for the rest of the PC's life. Like a belly button.
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Ahh...it's so true.

So work has been pretty crazy. Usually it gets tame around the holiday season, but it's been going buck-wild. Today most of our equipment came back though (shit loads of stuff), whcih was being used for an up-and-comming "mock-umentary" called Celebrity Cookoff.
I hung out on the set a week or so ago, it seems like it's going to be pretty funny. The cast includes most of the women from Reno 911, "Oswald" from the Drew Carey show, some dude from Malcom in the Middle, and various others...I hung out with Oswald. He was cool. And tall. Very tall. And mellow. For "acting" like such a spaz, he's a very mellow guy.

So this freelance job I've been doing, which is getting on my nerves for various reasons, the guy I'm working for, apparently has lots of friends in the ASC and ACS, who would be more than willing to bring me on their sets and show me around. I think I'm going to take him up on that. God, I wish people like Ron and Matt were out here, it's like the UB media dept., but the size of two cities and full of knowledgable teachers. So...nothing like the UB media dept.

Last week...or the week before? Damn dude, I don't even know anymore. Either way, at ONE point I was working our "Moviola" booth at DV Expo. It's the expo for...wait for it...digital video. Whoa.
Panasonic was kind enough to give us 1 of the two working prototypes for their soon to be released camera, the HVX200. This was exciting because this camera is going to be breaking some SERIOUS ground. It's a true high definition camera (not HDV) that supports 24 frames/sec. at progressive speed. Up until now the only cameras that do that cost around $60,000 and weigh about the same as a mid-sized dog. This camera will cost $6,000 and weighs about as much as the dogs everyone tends to carry around here (which I almost hate as much as cats, GOD I hate small "purse" dogs). Plus the camera can record to HDV (yay.) AND P2 cards! They are solid state memory cards that allow you to play scenes instantaneously on the camera (instead of fast forward and rewinding) and you could can fluently hot swap the cards in and out of the camera, into your laptop or a p2 docking bay/external hard drive, allowing for faster backups and more managebale editing work-flow. Plus it's ok for me to say things like this without being a tool, because I don't have to try and sell it to anyone. Just don't get me started on the new Canon XL H1 we got....huhuhuhuhhuhuhuh.

It also dawned on me that I was standing on the very ground that E3 takes place in, and will be occuring in a few months!

So the other day when I was at work, this dude brought in some equipment that was being rented out....this happens a lot because it is what my job entails.

The interesting part was that this dude wreaked of mary-jew-wanna.

So I was sorting through the equipment, putting it away...and stuff, and at the very bottom of a case was a wrinkled envelope with some scribbles on it. I went to throw it away, but figured I should check it for any important paper-work, so I opened it up, and it had WEED in it!!!
Merry Xmas Derek.
It was SKUNKY weed too. Really skunky.
So in a matter of moments I processed various scenarios ranging from telling someone that I found weed, resulting in it either getting thrown away, getting people in trouble (who-ever was using the equipment, or myself), or getting pocketed by some other co-worker.
I didn't like any of those scenarios, so I kept it.

I mean really, what else should I have done?

So I pocketed it, when in walked the owner of the company's son. He asked me to show him the new Canon camera we got, so I walked him through all the new stuff Canon invented for it, while the aroma of skunky weed eminated from my back pocket. I know he smelt it, I SMELT IT! It was wrank! So the whole time I was just like, "man...he's gotta think I'm tokin' up at work..."

So later on I'm on my way home walking to the train thinking, "I've only seen police dogs once since I've been here, but with my luck they'll have them out tonight."
I shit you not, Derek luck had struck again. Half way through my train ride the police, police dogs, and "metro inspectors" swarmed the train. Way to go Derek, this outta be interesting.
So right before the police start to get near where I'm sitting, the train stops at the next stop (Willow St.) where every now and then you're forced to get off and catch the next train through, and it just so happened that this was one of those times. So I get off the train and I'm standing there waiting for the next one, at the same time all of the officers, and their dogs, come over and decide to stand and chat RIGHT next to me. So of course all of their dogs are sitting next to me (in case you don't know, if you ever go to an airport or something where they have drug/bomb dogs, the dogs sit next to cases/people that they smell drugs or bombs on, no they don't bark, that would be stupid). All of the cops are just schmoozin' it up, completely ignoring the fact that the dogs are sitting next to me waiting to get a reward. So slowly I start to shift away, and walk towards the other end of the platform.
That's pretty much the end of my story.

Actually, the next day I went to get on the train but the one of the two ticket machines wouldn't take coins (at the beginning of every week I put a $20 bill in a machine and get 20 sacaguia's) and the other machine seemed to be racsist...it wouldn't take my precious dollar coins.

Seriously people, $1 dollar coins is a retarded idea anyways, but I'm trying SO hard not to go into that. I just need to mention PLASTIC- it's the wave of the future.

Ok, so I get on the train without a ticket, and figure when I get to the next train line I'll get a ticket while I'm waiting, because every single morning I've been on the train there have never been metro inspectors (only at night, and very rarely). BUT, I'll be damned with that Derek luck. I mean, I KNEW that the ONLY day I didn't have a ticket the inspectors would come on, I KNEW IT. So of course an army of them board the train, but they don't ask people to take out their tickets, they just stand around chatting. Now, according to Derek luck rules: the next train stop has to be the longest one on the whole track. So I'm just sitting there thinking "Should I explain to them that their machines are broken and I'm simply going to the next stop to get a ticket?"
I mean, hell, how else do you justify having a shitload of sacaguia's in your backpack?
So the next stop came up and I jetted my ass out the door just as they started to look at tickets.

My ING savings account interest raised again. I'm convinced they operate with the mafia.

One of the two main guys I work with (Steve) gave me a Chia Homer for Xmas (as well as a gift certificate for Ameoba Music, apparently a kick-ass record store somewhere in Hollywood). I'll be documenting the amazing growth of my CHA CHA CHA CHIA via photography. Get psyched.

I found out recently that our neighbors with the awesome teal house are actually renting it from the bassist of Black Flag (who's hand prints are in the concrete in the alley behind it). The father figure of the house also shares the same name as me (Derek) and has about 4,000 records. Very cool people, hopefully we'll get to know them more. Or even more hopefully, they'll move the fuck out of there and the bassist will come back!!!

I don't really know what else to say. I've just been hella friggin' busy and once again I apologize to everyone for my lack of...presence. Ever since I got my job life has been crazy crazy. I've got to imagine over time I'll get into a routine and start communicating more with all you East-Coasters. Ok, and all you Roller Coasters, don't wanna leave you out!

Take care everybody :) Hope you're enjoyin' your snow...I know I'm enjoying my sunny 70 degree weather.

Moviola...the movie!

Hey peoples.

I apologize for the lack of communication lately, things have gotten pretty crazy since I've started working. Unfortunetly it also gives me a sense of loosing my connection to all my friends...being 3000 miles away from the only people you know, and not being able to talk to them, it kinda gives you that "lonely" feeling.

I don't really have time for a big update, because my schedule consists of:

Monday-Friday:
6:30am wake up, 7:15am-9:00am travel, 9:00am-5:30pm work, 5:30pm-7:15pm travel home

Saturday&Sunday:
10:30am-1:00pm travel, 1:00pm-6:00pm freelance editing, 6:00pm-8:30 travel home

Throw in the amount of time it takes to make and eat meals, you can imagine how much free time I have.
Hopefully the purchase of a bike and the eventually end to my freelancing will free up some much needed personal time.

Really short, since I have to get to work, Thanksgiving was cool, kinda weird not being with family and my grandparents (due to grandmother passing earlier this year), or eating the same Thanksgiving food I have for the last 23 years.
The really crappy part was Brenna's car breaking down on the way home and having to get towed 70 miles until 4:00am. Now Brenna is using my car and is probably just going to sell her off for parts since I take a train to work.

I'm going home for Xmas, well shortly after Xmas and not really home...just where my parents live at the moment. I look forward to seeing them and my sister and her boyfriend.

I miss everyone. Hope I have some free time to catch up on everything soon.

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.com is the longest single word (without hyphens) .com domain name in the world. This Welsh town actually exists and its name translates as "The church of St. Mary in the hollow of white hazel trees near the rapid whirlpool by St. Tysilio's of the red cave". For brevity, it is understandable that many of the locals simply refer to their village as "Llanfair"

Well, I'm sitting hear streaming wacky XMas music via XM radio, trying to get all in the mood for the holiday. It's tough though, with the 70 degree weather and consistent sunshine. Oh well, I think I'll manage ;)

I do admit though that my heart kind of sunk when Ron sent me this picture from Buffalo.


I can't say that I'll miss waiting for my car to warm up enough that I scrape the frost off the windows without shattered the ice scraper. Then sitting in a stiff, frozen seat, as my hands freeze themselves to the steering wheel, and cold air blows through the vents making the boogers in my nose freeze up and my throat burn, as I shake uncontrollably.

I CAN say that since I've left home (for college) no Christmas has been the same. I think it's mostly due to the amount of decorating my parents would go through, including the lights on the house and trees outside, having an xmas tree both upstairs and downstairs (upstairs was the "nice" tree, downstairs was the "fun" one...with presents) supplied from our local back-woods, and xmas music playing throughout the house complimenting the smell of pine needles and cinnamon potpourri.

So this year I've decided to play xmas music as excessively as possible, and to decorate our apartment (especially including a little light-up tree my grandmother gave me right before she passed away) as well as stink it up with seasonal smells.
I especially looking forward to going crazy with the xmas lights, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to top this dude
http://media.mypartypost.com/ryan/videos/wow/christmaslights.wmv

The fridge will be fully stocked with egg nog for at least a month, as is the side of the road on the I-610 N.

Yup. You see, when you go to visit your girlfriend's parents for Thanksgiving, and they give you a jug of egg nog that you decide to open on the way home because you're thirsty, and then your car's drive shaft falls into the road rendering the vehicle useless, and then realize you won't be home soon enough to refridgerate the egg nog as soon as it probably should be, you end up leaving it behind on the side of the road.

Words cannot describe the amount of inconvience the car break-down provided. And no, it's not the good type of break-down that mid 1980's hip hop artists do.
We were just driving along, doing a casual 100 mph, because...you can. When there was a sudden 'clunk'...'clank clank clank'....'engine rev'....which is a somewhat subtle way for the car to say, "Hey guys, I need to go potty."

So we coasted to the side of the road, and discovered that the car started perfectly fine...it just didn't go forward.
So we called AAA asking for a tow. They wouldn't let up on asking where we were, which was impossible to tell because WE DIDN'T KNOW! The only thing we did know was that we had just passed a sign saying "73 miles to LA."
Eventually a cop pulled over (after I just finished saying "how come cops never pull over when we break down?") and told us what exit we were near. As well as to be sure to strap on our safety belts while we wait for our tow.

Because wearing a seat belt while getting rear-ended by a tractor trailer that's doing well over 75mph while we sit there at a dead stop will REALLY make the difference.

So after an 1.5 hours of going in and out of a light sleep a tow truck finally showed up. There was only enough room for one of us up in the cab of the truck (the guy decided to bring his girlfriend for the ride) so Brenna ended up sitting with them while I say inside her car, atop the tow truck.
If you ever have the choice to ride in a car on top of a tow truck DON'T. It's fuckin' bumpy as hell and NOISY.
I was actually trying to sleep, with my arms folded over my chest, but bumps were making the car bounce so hard that I actually occasionally knocked the wind out of myself with my arms. Ugh.
So we finally got to Long Beach, and pulled up next to my car, so I could follow them to the car shop (so we could get home). We couldn't find the shop Brenna had seen before that serviced VW's, so we ended up leaving it at a different one. On our way home in my car we found the one she originally wanted to go to though, so we turned around and manually pushed her car until it was facing the right way, and then I pushed it with my car for about a mile.

All of this actually wouldn't have been SO bad hadn't we left Brenna's parents house at 8:30 pm. The car broke down around 1-ish, and we didn't get home until about 3 am.
Brenna had to leave for work at 4:30 am.

Alright, so how about something cheerful....here's a bute!


That's Drew. Drew lived on our couch in Hadley for a few weeks a couple years ago (and apparently caught on to my goatee). Derek and Adam were not big fans of Drew. Everyone else was. Derek and Adam ended up being right. Drew has now kicked up his sleeze a notch by posing for a really gross goth porn site that's trying to be like the actual good ones.
Way to go Drew. You lost at life.

Here's a pic of my tattoo now that it's not red and irritated...just in case you care...


I'm trying to find an animation of how the suns light cycle on the Earth looks, but there don't seem to be any. I have this thing on my desktop that will let you watch as the sun shines over thy glorious ball of dirt, and I want to share it with you, YES, you. Because I love you.
And because of that I took the time to take these screenshots (it wasn't easy). Here is the cycle of full day, notice the shade is very wide towards the stop, that's because it's winter...that's why we don't have as much daylight right now.

LIGHT CYCLE DURING A DAY- the shadow shifts towards to the left throughout the day, and cycles back around from the right (since the earth is round...moron). And just in case you're really dumb, the shadow is NIGHT and the light part is DAY.





But Derek! What does the light cycle of a YEAR look like!?! Well, let me tell you!

LIGHT CYCLE OF A YEAR- So because the dark spot at the top forces us into longer dark periods, which we call Winter, then the opposite needs to be true to provide us with Summer. So the "U" shape of the shadow basically just flips, so that the wide dark spot is on the bottom of the Earth in the winter.





See how now we have very little shadow that would cylce around the world?

So why do I have this on my desktop? Well, naturally, because now that I live on the West coast I can watch the impending doom shadow crawl across the world snatching up everything in it's path...as it heads towards ME!
Yes, I do laugh to myself as it crosses over NY......DIE NY SCUM!!!!!! (and Ohio for that matter)

Ron and I are planning a movie...I can't say too much now...but it will be awesome. You will love it. And I did your mom last night.

Sucka.

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I was going to put the lyrics for Europe's- "Final Countdown" but they just don't do the song justice. So download it, and rock out with me. 'raises fist in the air'

Hotdog Stand Color Scheme

I hope at least one person that reads this knows what the title is referring to.

So here's pictures of where I'm not employed:

ABC office building


ABC animation building (where Chicken Little was just made, and the new Speed Racer cartoon is in development)....sorry, no pics of the lot, didn't have the camera with me

BUT! Pretty soon I will also have pictures of where I AM employed! (no, not my computer closet)
I FINALLY GOT A JOB! Woo! I'm now the video equipment manager at Moviola (http://www.moviola.com). My job basically consists of taking care of really expensive shit, pulling together rental orders, and making sure we get everything back. From what I've seen, the cheapest camera I'll be handling is roughly $8,000 and the most expensive it $20,000. So...here's hoping I don't drop anything? (plus, as Eli put it, if I'm not happy with the job I know where to get some good equipment)
So yeah...along with getting paid, I also have free access to all the equipment (they're even cool with me freelancing as a videographer with it when I'm not working) along with free membership to our editing suites, and certification classes...which is crazy...because they're the classes that top movie studio editors go to- to brush up on the latest stuff.
According to the dude that hired me (and wanted me to "86 the beard"...hellz no...sir.), all of the men I've been in contact here for freelance jobs, student here from UB, and teachers from UB, this is one of the best gigs in Hollywood....so....w00t!

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Side Note:
This job also puts me in contact with a lot of studio execs who come to get equipment. So Ron and I are currently developing the first stage plans for a full-out movie trailer, which will be shot with the free freakin' equipment I can use, and when the final edit is done I will "accidentally" drop copies of it in camera cases, MWUH HAHAHA!!!!!
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So after I got hired, Brenna (who was waiting outside because she came downtown with me) and I went to see Chicken Little in 3D!!!! Yeah, this crazy movie theater on Hollywood Blvd. (right near where I work) has been showing it in 3D, so in lue of having a job figured why not go see it since we were right there. Hell, it seemed better than wading through the line of Mariah Carey fans getting her autographs across the street from us.
So it was $11 a ticket, which seemed to make since being it was downtown Hollywood...but actually turned out to be worth every goddamn cent.
The theater, it turns out, is an actually THEATER. You know, the kind that often has blaconies, and where people put on plays.

(walls)


(ceiling)

So because it only houses one screen, they go ALL OUT when they show a movie there. Chicken Little decorations EVERY where....just....tons of....stuff.
As we were walking in to be seated there was this dude playing the biggest freakin' organ I've ever seen in my life, rockin' it to medley of Disney songs...without any music sheets...this guy was a SERIOUS world-class act.

The organ alone had HUNDREDS of switches, which he was constantly flicking WHILE playing, and there must of been at least 10 foot pedals that his feet were flailing around and stomping on. It sounded like a full-blown symphony was comming from this one man....drum, symbols, winds, strings....just insane.


So after about 20 minutes of pure rocking out, and consistent applause from the audience, the dude wrapped it up, bowed, and then sank below the stage along with the organ on trap-door like lift.
So the lights dim down, and the abosulotely gorgeous curtain is lifted, and the previews begin. After all the previews, when the movie would typically begin, the house lights came back on and this music just started blaring. A woman came running out onto the stage with a microphone and started signing "Shake your tail-feathers," while in the mean-time people wearing costumes of the cast of Chicken Little came out and danced with the kids in the aisles. It was INSANE! Brenna and I were just laughing our asses off, like....$11 for a movie...a full blown pianist act, and now some woman performing while people in costumes dance with kids? Crazy, crazy shit. So like...when the music starts to end, and you don't think shit can get any crazier, these cannons up in the balcony shoot confetti EVERYWHERE with a thunderous boom. Like, not just some paper here and there, just a mess of confetti flying everywhere.
Then the movie started.

Apparently that theater does shit like that for every movie, so we're going to go there for the opening of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to see what shannanigans they have set up.

It was funny, when Chicken Little ended (it was a pretty funny movie, Disney is definately after Pixar's ass.....GO PIXAR!!!) and we were watching the credits, I spotted the name of the Vice President of the Animation Dept. ABC/Disney...the same guy I interviewed with a week ago! Hehehe....crazy ol' Hollywood....

So yeah, needless to say, it was a pretty badass day. Speaking of which, here's some badass picks of me that Brenna took after the interview!


Unemployed Derek


Oh...what's this!?


Employed Derek.

Going down the escalator to the subway, there was a huge rush of air that was blowing my tie everywhere, so Brenna took a glamour shot of me...it was pretty ridiculous.


Hmmm what else do I have pics of...here's Long Beach as viewed from the top of a parking garage. Yup, it's actually a small city that's near us!


And here's the Queen Mary at night (it's an old steam ship parked in the harbor, used for tours, dinners, and weddings)


I had videos of the glowing plankton too, but they were way too dark to see anything. I'm going to videotape it with a real videocamera and put the footage up in a week or so....it's cool shit man.

But not as cool as Derek rocking out on Guitar Hero!!!






This is what it may look like if you were my left hand...


Brenna doesn't rock out as hard as I do


But Sha does.


And apparently the Mooninites (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force) are taking over our city...that makes me excited.


Ok....that picture has no relevance what-so-ever.

That's it folks. You can stop refreshing now OP.

Your mom goes to college.

"The difference between us and a computer is that the computer is blindingly stupid but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second."
-Douglas Adams

Also, I'd like to note that anyone that hasn't seen "Lemony Snickets: A Series Ff Unfortunate Events," should do-so. It's a VERY pretty movie.

And before I go any further I have to write about Guitar Hero, one of the best goddamn games ever! Never before have I rocked out so hard in my living room while in my boxers, giving the metal sign to people out the window. It's a game that plays like Rez, Frequency, and various other "hit buttons with the beat" games. BUT IF COMES WITH A FREAKIN' GUITAR!!!!!! So you know, I assumed I'd be rockin' out to Pantera and Megadeath, but I was EXSTATIC to rock out to songs like "Take Me Out" (Franz Ferdinand), "Killer Queen" (Queen), and "Godzilla" (Blue Oyster Cult)....oh...and did I mention MOTHA' FUCKIN' IRON MAN.

So yeah....you just rock out with a "guitar" controller in hand, playing different color-coded frets to what's flying at you on the screen. On easy the game is a little too easy, but as you progressively play on harder modes you also play more notes, until you get to a point where you might as well just grab a real guitar and play the goddamn thing (and it gets bat-shit hard!). I guess the biggest difference between playing the game or just playing a guitar is that you don't have to be good at guitar to get it (guitar is definately still harder since it has STRINGS and makes real noise!), but you also get to rock out with a full-fledge band that's actually GOOD.
So....I dunno. Either shell out the money and play it, or just goddamn come visit me and we'll rock out in undies in front of the window, with a view of palm trees, and stick out our tongues and give the metal sign to passer-byers.

Um, there's not too much new to report on. I guess there just isn't much to be said when you spend the majority of your life in front of a computer trying to find a job worth having.

Speaking of which, I didn't get the ABC job. Which is interesting, because when I asked why they choose someone else, the response was:

While we do not give reasons that we passed on any particular candidate, I would say in this case it was simply timing. I think you were one of a few people who were amply qualified.

Call me crazy, but when you're "amply qualified" for a job...don't you usually get it? So...I guess I'll just keep bothering them until it's easier for them to just hire me. Feel my annoying wrath ABC Disney, for I WILL get free access to your Haunted Mansion and Space Mountain if it's the last thing I ever do...which...I kinda hope is...that'd be a fun way to go out...

I had a job interview with a company called Moviola. You may or may not have heard of them, they used to make linear editing machines back in the day. Now they just rent out really expensive HD cameras and teach editing classess (for example, to editors that already work at Paramount, these aren't basic editing classess).
It's be a sweet temporary gig. It'd pay pretty decent and all I would be responsible for is prepping camera's for renters. In the meantime I would have free access to the cameras if they weren't being rented, alont with the editing suites.
(I.E. Derek would be playing with $20,000 cameras)

Hopefully I'll hear back from them sometime soon, I don't know how much more job searching I can handle.
Ultimately I'd also like to work at Vivendi, Blizzard, Atari, or Midway. All of which are within 20 minutes of me.

What else is new...Brenna and I went to the beach the other night so I could put some glowing plankton in a jar. Yeah, they were even cooler than the last time we saw them, because this time the water was choppy, and they were EVERYWHERE. Seriously, ever wave had a glowing green tip on it, and when it crashed it would cause the water to all glow green....sooooo cool.
Now I have a jar of it in my kitchen...if you ever want to come see it.

There is a trailer for Poultrygeist finally! Now you can see what I was doing for the majority of the summer...I can't wait to see the whole thing.
http://international.tromamovies.com/stream-qt.php?t=poultrygeist_teaser-hi

Hmmm....so yeah. The other night I was watching Cops, which is nice because the majority of the episodes are from the early 90's, right around the time when Long Beach was a sess pool trashy domestic disputes and rampid cocaine dealing. So if you're ever watching Cops there's a good chance you'll get a brief history of the area I'm living in, which has cleaned up a SIGNIFICANT amount since then (big props to the Ghetto Birds).

After Cops I was watching America's Most Wanted, because sometimes there's just not enough John Walsh in my life (except for when he rambles on for an ungodly amount of time at my college graduation...). It was a FUCKED UP episode about a dude known as the "Collar Bomber." It's a new reason that I'm glad I got away from Buffalo, because the whole case took place in Erie, PA...pretty close-by. It's about a pizza delivery dude that went to a place, to, guess what! DELIVER A PIZZA! When he got there some dudes strapped a bomb to his neck and gave him a scavenger hunt-like list of things to do, which would ultimately lead him to keys that would get the collar bomb off his neck. One of the steps on the list was robbing a bank, which is ultimately where police stopped him. They called a bomb squad to come help him...they didn't come on time (which was shown in video on t.v.....wow....cause I needed to see that).
Here, read about it, it seems like it should be a movie:
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/famous/erie_collar_bomber/

Oh yeah, he's still on the loose too.

Here's something cheery, it's a flash animation that I think is pretty freakin' amazing.
http://burstofbeaden.com/aneyeforannai.html
(that link might not work anymore, so go here if it doesn't!)
http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1040

Hell, while I'm at it here's a neat flash site that you can make your own 3D Magic Eye's with! (you know those cool-ass posters we all had back in the day that you "look past" to see the hidden image! i can't see it.....i don't see anything....WHY CAN'T I SEE IT??.....OOoooooo!!! I see it! That's neat! WOw! It's like...3D!....... yeah, those things...)
http://www.flash-gear.com/stereo/

That's it folks....I'll let you know if anything else happens? In the mean-time talk to me on AIM. I'm starting to get a lonely sitting in this god-forsaken closet every day :(

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She keeps her Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
'Let them eat cake' she says
Just like Marie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation
You can't decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

(Chorus)
She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable in appetite
Wanna try?

To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minor
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined

Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars, she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise

Chorus

Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild
She's out to get you

Chorus

Recommended at the price
Insatiable in appetite
Wanna try?
You wanna try

"Killer Queen" -Queen

Electric Boogaloo Shrimp

Derek, did you forget about taking Halloween pictures?

Of course not! Would this be a "blog" if it didn't have Halloween pictures!?! And everyone knows that Halloween is the holiday that gives girls the excuse to dress as trampy as humanly possible! So who WOULDN'T have pictures of that?

Alrighty folks. Hope your comfy, cause here we go!
This is a picture of us on the Saturday night before Halloween, a.k.a Sha's Birthday! WOOO!


From left to right it's me (old man), Brenna (cat), TC (cowgirl), Sha (witch), and Abby (tennis accident).

TC and Sha are friends of Brenna's from back in Washington. TC is awesome. She's a geek that plays magic and has a Star Wars skull and bones (vader helmet and lightsabers) bag. Plus she's a member of the exlcusive red team. Or was it blue team? It's hard to remember these days. Regardless, our team eats meat and doesn't sit on benches. The other team is our arch-rivals. One of whom sleeps with me.

It should be noted that the team members often get confused and switch which side their on pending on the current debate/discussion.
It should also be noted that in either instance Sha shall remain my "friend", even if she is an arch-NEMSIS.

Main Entry: ¹friend
Pronunciation: 'frend
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frEond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frEon to love, frEo free
definition: someone who gets Derek water.

Abby on the other hand doesn't belong to either team. She goes to school with Sha, and coincidentally, also went to UB for a short time...such a small small world.

So yeah, basically that night (Sha's Birthday) we went to In-N-Out and got food...and looks from old people. Then we went to a very very strange party.
Bad news first: Brenna broke a hookah with her foot....when the hookah fell off the table...on to Brenna's foot.
Good new second: There was a dude named Derek there. He was ecstatic that there was another Derek (me). He had never met another Derek before, with the name spelled correctly. I have, but only once before this incident. Derek was awesome, he was pretty much the only person worth talking to at the party, because everyone else was dressed as ho's and "Tu Pac." Either way, there was just way too much Derek at the party, so we had to leave.
-------------------------------
DEREK Act (Introduced in Senate)[S.579.IS] - states:

SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.

This Act may be cited as the `One Derek per party ACT' or the `DEREK Act'.

SEC. 2. FINDINGS AND PURPOSE.

(a) FINDINGS- Congress makes the following findings:

(1) Congress has recognized the important role of Derek's in attedance to person(s) attending party(s)

(2) Congress has therefore deemed it necessary that for party(s) to be given even
standard amount of fun(s), they must be restricted to one Derek per party.
----------------------------------

So that was that night. Then on Halloween


Brenna, Sha and I dressed up and went grocery shopping at Albertson's!!!! I dressed as a zombie


Brenna and Sha wore the same thing they did on Saturday. After grocery shopping we went to Sha's and got her roomate, Trevor, and went out to a bar. Trevor was a glam-rock star (see: David Bowie) for Halloween, but he couldn't bear another night of high-heels, so he went as a track star...or 80's coke dealer...same thing.


While Brenna and Sha were tearing up the dance floor some random asian lady took a picture of me with her cell phone. It came out awesome, cause it was all grainy and dark. She didn't send me a copy though...nor did I give her an address to send it too. Sorry to all you 40-year-old asians reading this, I don't give my info out to women years older than me.

Unless they're hot!

Sha had a bunch of friends at the bar (half of which were Canadians that moved here to play for the Ice Dogs...you know how much I love preppy guys, Canadians, AND hockey players!), none of which I really knew.


Trevor left because he was starting to get sick and was tired. So I pretty much flew solo while Brenna and Sha danced. After the bar they all went to...ANOTHER BAR. Whoa! It's like I'm back in Buffalo!
In the mean time Brenna and I went to a place that was much dirtier than Denies, but with much better food. I had a delicious hamburger. It was delicious.
Then we met everyone at the bar...but they were leaving to go party in a greek restaurant that was closed (I'm assuming one of them works or owns it?). Things got shady....you know, the typical 35 year-old guys tryin to get the young girls from the bars...to party in their greek restaurants?
I was happy when we got home. I don't think I'm ready to make new friends.


With 35-year-old drunk greek men.

Hey! Isn't it time for some random pictures! YES IT IS!
Here are some pictures of downtown Long Beach (not to be confused with L.A.)


Those weird, colorful pillars change colors over time, and emit a green laser-light show (that progressively gets faster). I didn't get a shot of the lasers. I will soon. Very, very soon. MWU HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

'cough'

and here's a pic of me and THE BRENNA.


and Sha and TC...smile like a donut!


And here's that picture of Jenny McCarthy's ex-husband...just in case you missed that one. I still get creeped out by how much that dude looks like me. On that Jenny McCarthy would marry a dude that looks like me.
Yeah me :)


That's about it for pictures, some comments on the area.

News here is so ridiculously fake.
You know how typically when you're watching the weather report a meterologist is speaking? Welllll...here it's a little different. There is ONE meteorologist, on ONE channel, in ONE time slot, in Los Angeles. That means, if you're watching ANY weather report that's not on channel 9 at exactly 5:00, an actor is giving you the weather. It's RIDICULOUS.
On top of that, the regular reports change every freakin' day. I don't remember the last time I've seen the same face on the news. I seriously would NOT be surprised if they just had a call for actor/actressess on craigslist every day, and just used those schmucks.
And on top of that, the fuckin video switchers can't even do THEIR job right!!! The fake, craigslist reporter will be talking about some fucking news story about pirates robbing a cruise ship (I shit you not) and the video switchers will be showing some sizzle clip of Tyra Banks walking down a fucking runway. The reports just kinda smile, try not to laugh, and tell their story, and in the mean time you watch fucking Britney Spears shakin' her bare-ass on a Pepsi commercial that has NOTHING to fucking do with the pizza shop that was just robbed (and I might add the robber supposedly took time to make a pizza while he was there, and it was caught on tape).

What else is fucked up here...oh, how about the phone calls I get 5 times a day telling me that if I don't vote yes on Prop 77 the woman's daughter will get an illegal abortion and run off with a mexican alien. Oh hey, Senator McCain just called and informed me that the smear campaign agains Prop 79 is absurd and against everything he stands for (seriously, I just got that call). And then Arnold "The Governator" called informing me that Prop 76 was a step to help better our education system and the teachers wages. In the mean time former Judge Whoppner called and told me to SAY NO to prop 74, it gives judges way too much power and allows them to make laws that should remain in the hands of district lawyers.
I can't wait for vote on propositions 74,75,76,76,78, and 79 to freakin' end. When the hell is Jenny McCarthy going to call me?!?!

Ok, so how about a good difference.......the other day when I was shopping at the grocery store I bought a bottle of gin. Yup, screw you liquor stores, I can purchase any type of alchohol in a grocery store here! WOOOO!!!!
What's that Brenna? We need bread, cheese, soy milk, and...CAPTAIN MORGAN'S? I'm on it! Hell, it even kinda makes sense, I can buy the beer, the ice, the pina coloda mix, the cups and the rum all in one stop!

Ayyyy....

So last night Brenna and I went for a walk on the beach. I'm not gonna bore you with the mushy crap, but at one point we walked out on a pier (near waterfalls and a harbor...my god that sounds weird...you just have to see it) and the water off the shore from us kept catching my eye. Every now and then I'd see a faint weird glow, so I just shrugged it off as the moon reflecting off subtle waves.
At some point I mentioned it to Brenna, who replied by picking up a rock and throwing it.

Usually when she responds like that I have to hit her on the head with newspaper and say "NO." in a stern, and commanding, yet non-intrusive manner.

This time she actually had a good reason though. It occured to her that it was bioluminescent dinoflagellates.
Actually, it probably occured to her that it was "those cool glowing plankton thingies," but that's what they're called.
So we lobbed tons of rocks into the water, every time a rock hit the water would turn BRIGHT green, and travel outwards like electricity. It was super-freakin'-cool. Tonight I'm going to go back and try and get a movie of it, as well as capture some in a jar.

Yessss....they should breed nicely with the sea monkeys...or should I say...SUPER sea monkeys
MWU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

Hm...other than that I've got nothing. Tomorrow is my job interview with Satan...I'll let you know how that goes.
In the mean-time why don't you check out these amusing corners of the internet!

http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/index.php (a very good emulation of DDR)

www.jdate.com (the online dating site for people like Marnie)

very long link (a creepy party video...just keep watching)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobius_strip (the mystery behind the mobius strip)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian (a fruit worth staying away from. FAR away from.)

Piece out homeslice.

Eddie Money is the hardest working man in the music industry.

Yes that is the original Star Wars movie in animated .gif format. Yes you should be amazed. Yes you should feel sorry for the poor soul who has such little going on in his life that he actually made that.

So Blizzcon was down the street from me. Wish I would have known that back in July when tickets were on sale. Speaking of which, I've also applied to Blizzard for a job. So if anyone working there is reading this out of pure randomness...hook a brotha up.

Also apparently Disney is about 20 miles from us, along with a million other theme parks. One more reason to move here people.

Speaking of Disney, ABC called me today to set up a job interview on Monday morning (ABC is owned by Disney). I'd be the assistant to the Vice President of Technology there. It sounds like I'm just a tech support dude for all the execs. So we'll see how that goes. Nothin' like workin for the man...hopefully it will involve a big pay check and a company Beemer to zoom around in. Hey, I put "Negotiable" under salary expected.

That's really all the news I have on the job situation. I'm trying to get a crazy awesome job that I'm actually qualified for at Vivendi (mother company of Blizzard). It would involve me playing video games all day and capturing the footage. HUHUHUUHUHUHHHUHUH!!!!

I'm done freelancing for AnimAction...until they need me again. Which will probably be in winter. It's cool though, they work on a regular basis with the dude that created Spongebob (and does his voice), as well as the girl that does the voice of Bobby on King of the Hill.

I have MySpace account now. And I'm ashamed of it. Hence I dragged Chester into it too.
http://www.myspace.com/derekxiii
http://www.myspace.com/chesterxiii

So Kai has discovered through IMDB, that in the future I will be the ex-husband of hottie Jenny McCarthy. You may know her for her tv variety show (that I used to watch religiously) that used to be on at 2 a.m. and had special guests such Bloodhound Gang and Presidents of the USA. Or perhaps you know her for laying rug and sucking the chrome off trailer hitches in BASEketball.

Anyways, her ex-hubby's name is John Mallory Asher, and goddamn that motha fucka looks like what I probably will in 10 years. Do yourself a favor and click this link or you'll definately be missing out on some major hilarity.

here's the link if you need to copy and paste it. seriously people, you need to check this picture out, it's scary how much we look alike.
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3069/Events/3069/JohnMallor_Vespa_4903014_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Asher,%20John%20Mallory

Moving forward, Alaska is huge! I was playing with Google Earth the other day, and was just amazed at what the planet actually looks like. It's been a long time since I've really thought about it, you know, since I was probably a kid.

Did you know China and Europe are land locked. Amazing! and the bottom and top of the Earth have floating chunks of ice! but they're a LOT smaller than you'd think they'd be.
The weirdest thing to me was how pretty much all the land is on one side of the Earth, and the other side is pretty much just water.

Oh, man! I printed out this paper dragon the other day (yeah...that's how awesome my life is) and constructed him, this is the most awesome optical illusion EVER! Seriously, if you have a printer hooked up, just print it out right now. I'm a lazy guy, I wouldn't be telling you to do this if it wasn't worth it, I promise. It takes about 10 minutes to make, and it's the most goddamn awesome thing ever. I put the one I made above our TV, I play with him ALL THE TIME. Because...my life is awesome.
http://www.grand-illusions.com/dragon.htm

Here are some other amusing links you should check out too!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/moresexthanme.html

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/cursortheft.html

http://www.goodtobesquare.com/


So I was having a video game conversation with Ron the other day. Basically it started with cartoons, and how they used to be so awesome, and now they generally suck. I'm not talking about Invader Zim, Aqua Teen, Teen Titans, etc. We all know what cartoons are freakin' awesome, and there are a good handful of them. But they're all half-hour shows. What ever happened to the amazing Looney Tunes? Those 3 minute cartoons were so freakin' good. Wile E. Coyote was by far my favorite. I also REALLY like the cannonball run race episode all the different Hanna Barbara cartoons would have every now and then.

So anyways, back to video games. My parents yelled at me quite a bit when I tended to play more video games as I was aging. Specifically I remember them always being mad when Eli and I would play them without sleeping, which is like, the most badass way to play a game. We beat SO many games in one or two nights. (they would get mad that I still watched cartoons as I was getting older too)
I'll always remember thinking "man, I hope I still play them when I'm 18." Then when I turned 18 and was obviously still playing them, I was like "I hope I'm still playing them when I'm 25." And of course, I'm well on my way. I used to be so afraid that I was going to stop playing them...I play them more than ever! In reality they're aimed at 18-35 year olds anways...I hope I'm still playing them when I'm 35 ;)
So like, I remember when guys my dad worked with would give me free copies of games (when cd burners were 1x and took all night to burn A cd), and I pictured them being 40 year-old guys. In retrospect they were probably just guys roughly my age, 22-23, who graduated college and got jobs working at my dad's company. I hope someday I can pass that on to someone else's kid that wants free games.
Why did my parents think it was so weird that I played games as I got older? I can understand cartoons SLIGHTLY (but not really, I guess just the ones specifically aimed at children, but I don't think Looney Tunes was because it had propaganda and tons of dynamite in it), but like, they didn't have video games until they were older! Space Invaders didn't exsist until they were like, 18, so what the hell.
If my generation is the Nintendo Generation, isn't it natural that we be interested in video games our whole life, since it's been a form of entertainment (such as tv, movies, and music) our whole life?

So the best I can come up with is that my parents had trouble accepting that kids in my generation had different lifestyles, and technologies.
Hell, think about how weird it's going to be when our kids have cell phones, laptops, and virtual reality games.

Well that's all I gots to say I guess. Other than the other day I COMPLETELY forgot I was boiling water. I was boiling water for Chester (to sterlize it) in the morning, and after a while I was like "damn, who's bbq-ing at 11 am." So I smelled out the window next to me, didn't seem like it was comming from there. Then I bent down and smelled my computer, thinkin "Crap! This thing better not be catchin' fire inside!" then I wandered around different sections of the house because it was getting stronger. Then as I got close to the kitchen I was like...damn...DAMN!
I've never seen a smoking pot before...i FUCKED UP boiling water...I am a failure at life.

Sorry, no lyrics today, hell you got the whole Star Wars movie at the top!