111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Ugh, I got horrible at updating again. I really need to get back into the groove, but I was super busy the past week.
In fact, I don't really remember what I was so busy with...

Monday
----------
I watched "Prison Break." (that's all I remember)


Tuesday
----------
I went to get my Xbox 360 at UPS since Microsoft couldn't get my address right. But I couldn't pick it up until between 7:30-9:00 p.m., so it resulted in a mad dash in Don's car LITERALLY arriving there at 8:59 p.m. "There" being some fucking shady back-alley warehouse next to a janky-ass airport.
We cut it so close that they closed and locked the doors behind us as we went inside. Yet there was still a line of at least 5 people...
It took forever for the line to actually get anywhere, and when I finally got to the counter I had to spend at least 10 minutes explaining to them that the package was being sent to the wrong address, as well as had my name spelled wrong on it(they were trying to locate the package based on the address it was sent too and the name it was under).
I swear I told the woman at the counter at least 4 times that my address was "4335 Vineland" and she kept typing in "4345" and I'd correct her again, and she'd just do it again. Then to add even more the aggrevation she kept asking me how to spell my name when she was HOLDING my fucking driver's license.

Alas, I got home with a 360. Just to find out today (one week later) that it's just as broken as the one they were replacing.
Thanks guys.


Wednesday
--------------
Don't remember what I did...


Thursday
-----------
I recieved a letter in mail addressed to "Mrs. Derek Heck." It was definately the fanciest card I've ever recieved aside from the wedding invite Pat and Courtney sent me.
It was an invitation to a womens financial conference, along with two "free" tickets.

Thanks ladies.

'snaps fingers'

I'll

'points hand like gun'

see

'cocks head'

you

'grins with lots of teeth'

there.


Friday
--------
After work I went to walk to Anthony's place to go drinkin'. Little did I know that the heavy bag I had, being tired from work, and wearing old shoes that hurt to walk far in were going to make it an hour-long adventure.
An adventure full of passed out people in alleys...
That was o.k. though, I just called everyone I hadn't talked to in a while :) Which made me look busy so that no one had a GOOD reason to stab me.

I finally met up with Anthony at a 7-11, bought a 24oz. Tecate, and went to his girlfriend's house. Hung out there for a little bit, then went to see crappy hardcore bands at the Key Club. Featuring artists (I use the term "artists" loosely) "Atomic."
You know they are awesome because they had PR girls wearing skimpy clothes and airbrushed "Atomic" tattoos.
Then the girls (it was Anthony's lady, a friend of hers, and her wanna-be goth roomate) split off due to some drama, and Anthony and I wandered around to various bars drinking. Or something like that.
Somehow we all met up and went home, where Anthony passed out and I hung out with the girls for a while. I kept trying to make conversation with Lydia, the goth wanna-be, since her room was covered with Tim Burton, Exorcist, and Marlyn Manson posters- but my hair wasn't in SPIKE formation so I think I was rejected for being such a square. And/or possibly because I'm not a 16-year-old who loves Hot Topic.
The friend of the two roomates was nice though :)
It was a very odd night. Hard to explain why, the mood was just off? But Anthony is coo. As is his obsession with "cheers"-ing drinks every minute ;)


Saturday
---------
I got up at 7 a.m. to head home since we had a video shoot to do. It involved me getting keys from Anthony, walking hung-over to his car a few blocks down the street in an underpass, getting my bag, and ninja-ing my way back into their house to leave his keys no the living room table.
Then I had a very surreal walk down an empty Hollywood Blvd. to the train station, eventually dragging my body home by 8:30-ish.
Don called at 9:15 to pick me up so we could go get "coffee" (I hate coffee) and meet with Lexi Alexander, who would be directing the video's over the weekend.
Here's a blurb I posted at the end of Saturday night:
---------------
I just spent my day shooting (1st AC and Operator) a teaser trailer for a horror movie (to be pitched to dimension, lion's gate, etc.) involving a tube being run down a guys throat and out his ass, then barbed wire going down through the tube, the tube being pulled out through his mouth leaving the barbed wire in him, a metal ball with fish hooks is then attatched to the bottom of the barbed wire. which is then yanked up through his body and out his mouth.

Directed By:
Lexi Alexander
---------------
Directed "Green Street Hooligans," feat. Elijah Woods. She was also sponsored for her green card by Chuck Norris since she's a world champion in kickboxing and karate as well

Produced By:
Dirk Hagen
-----------
Academy award nominee producer for "Wheelmen"

Special Effects Make-Up By:
Robert Short
-------------
Oscar WINNING special effects make-up artist for "Beetle Juice", who also designed and created "The Predator," and worked on E.T., Halloween, Empire Strikes Back, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Macguyver...his credits go for miles! check them at http://www.robertshort.com/biocreditsawards.html

And tomorrow I so it all over again for a music video shoot on the same set.

Fuck Yeah!
---------------

So that was that! And now for some pics:

Barbed wire guy that I wrote about above.


Insert "A"...


...into "B".


Me, doin' my thang.


Angela doin' her thang.


The end result (in the movie he has his arms switched to the opposite sides)


Chris and I are being his "opposite arms."


"And I'll put this thingy HERE!"


"...errrrrr....maybe over here!"


I think she lost a contact. HAR HAR HAR!


In the movie she's getting her eyes ripped out by that box on her head.


"Does this lighting make me look funny?"


The operation was a SUCCESS!


Don's turn!



Sunday
--------
Woke up and was at set by 8 a.m. to do it all over again. Worked until around 8 p.m. on the music video. It seemed to go well :) Then went to Don's with Chris, smoked, went home and FUCKIN' crashed.

What's that? You want to see pictures!?!?

Don and I being SUPER-COOL next to Lexi (the director).


She couldn't resist our SUPER-COOLness.


This shit will knock you OUT mang.


Can we get high too?


This needle should work. God knows it worked on that girl that's now missing eyes.


Cut along the dotted line.


"I think I found something!" (Yeah, we were using real animal organs).


B-I-N-G-O!


What can I say? The girl loves intestines.


"HEY! That's mine! Put it back in you fuckers!" (he's watching himself go through his operation).


The man on the right is Oscar winning Robert Short. In the middle we have barbed wire dude. On the left is academy nominated producer Derk.
Yes. There was a lot of confusion on set when people yelled for me or Derk.


I like the cut of your jib boys.




Needs more blood.


And now ex-girlfriend nurse, and her lover doctor eat the ex-boyfriends heart. I hear it's high in iron.



Tues.
-----
I've had some interesting people contact me on MySpace and FaceBook, but today "Jordan" took the cake. As far as I knew it was some random 18-year-old from Cazenovia (the home town) who wanted to be "friends" since we grew up in the same place. I asked her, correction, "messaged" her, asking if we knew each other.
Low and behold! There was an interesting story to be told:
My very first "official" job was at a conference center called "Thornfield." It was actually kind-of two jobs. One was to operate the dish-washer, and be a prep-cook, the other was to help the grounds keeper with lawn maintenence and hotel-like maintenence (there were three buildings full of hotel style bedrooms that people would stay in) such as bed making and bathroom cleaning.
I worked alongside my sister, and some other girls that went to my middle-school. It was good times...?
Every now and then the groundskeeper would bring his 10-year-old daughter along, and have her pick up sticks and stuff for allowance. She was an adorable little girl, super cute, and always hid behind him when people tried to talk to her.
So, as you've probably guessed by now, it turns out Jordan is actually the groundskeeper's daughter!

How crazy is that?

It's CRAZY crazy.

-----------------------
!!!BONUS!!!
-----------------------
Extra pic's from the rap video I shot in August (the DVD is finally done, let me know if you want a copy).

Me. Doing......THINGS.


Someone tell the Seven Dwarfs to pick up their fucking shit.


Almost time to shoot on the rooftop (waiting for it to get dark).

Steve Burns Rocks.

He's the guy that used to host "Blues Clues." Yeah...he actually has real music...in the form of albums. And they're really good.

My hair is officially spiked again. So...now when everyone still refers to me as spikey-haired it's actually accurate again.
Cause a lot of you were still doing that, despite a couple years of me being spike-free.
It's weird. Part of me feels like I shouldn't be doing that at the age of 24. But then there's the part of me that realizes that my hair is slowly thinning and I will probably be bald in 10 years, so why not milk it?
Plus every guy ever has lame hair. Spiking it HAS to get more ladies...right?

I just spent my whole weekend eating pizza, playing Okami and watching every episode of "Red Vs. Blue" (an episodic series done with Halo models). I feel drained. My eyes...they are dry. Oh man, the two best quotes from Red Vs. Blue though!

Guy 1: "I don't fight, I'm a pacifist."
Guy 2: "You're a thing babies suck on?"
Guy 3: "No, no, that's a pedefile."
Guy 4: "No guys, it means he doesn't fight."
Guy 1: "Yeah, that's why I decided to be a medic."
Guy 3: "Oh, I was thinking of something COMPLETELY different!"

and

Guy 1: "...and that's how we'll mess up the timeline!"
Guy 2: "Time isn't a line silly! It's a circle!....That's why clocks are round!"

Genius.

O.k., so here's my quick weekly update:

Sunday 17th
---------------
Recuperated from the party the night before (as blogged two blogs ago. blog.), spent the entire day watching "24" and "Serenity," the movie that takes place after the series "Firefly" ended (remember me mentioning that before? It's a great fucking show if you didn't read where I said that before). "Serenity" was an aweomse awesome movie. The transitions especially were really good...


Monday 18th
--------------
Grilled some burgers. Watched some "Prison Break," played some Guitar Hero. I still reign as supreme Guitar Hero.


Tuesday 19th
--------------
Kamila came over to watch "Dancing With the Stars" and eat some sort of melon. Had poker night. It was Don, Chris, Dave, Nathan, Crystal, Matt and myself.
I won. At...around 2:30 a.m. It was a dramatic stand-off between Nathan (previous week's winner) and I.
But I out-poked him.


Wednesday 20th
------------------
Finally bought Okami, the best game I've played in a while. It's like Zelda, but a million jillion times better! And much more...asiany.
It was also trivia night, and we got Aaron to come! (my co-worker) Somehow we didn't win. We figured there was absolutely NO WAY we could lose, because Aaron is a fucking encyclopedia. But then one of the rounds was a sheet of paper with shitload of pictures of flowers, and you had to name the flowers.
That destroyed any chance we had at winning.


Thursday 21st
---------------
I literally went home, laid on my bed and fell asleep. Woke up around 10:30 p.m., took out my contacts, and went back to sleep.
It felt fucking amazing.


Friday 22nd
-------------
Partied it up at Steve & Chris' place. A few people I met from the party the week before were there, so I was all "Yo dude, long time no seeeeeeee!" followed by elaborate made-up-on-the-fly handshake.
Unless it was a chick, then I was all "Yo bizzzzznizzzzle, long time no seeeeee!" followed by not-so-elaborate-hug.
It was neat, we started our janky-ass BBQ with hamburgers and hotdogs (and I went all out and bought a 30-case of Natty Ice!!!), and then some other people that lived in the complex decided to have some Jew-Party (to celebrate Rashhashhanahah) and the guy hosting it used to be the head chef at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood. So their food was fucking amazing. Things with cheeses I've never heard of, fruit wrapped in meat, with more fruit, and vegetables with almonds and some shit.
I dunno it was all good.
Made some new friends. Which is good times. Especially since I'm spiking my hair again. The people I knew from the party before were like "Whoa, is it usually like that?" And I didn't know how to answer. Because it usually was for a long long time....but then wasn't recently...so I just told them "Yes." and smiled.
But yeah, people were still friendly. I wasn't sure how if it would be takin' kindly but it seemed to be.

Now the next party I go to I'll know EVEN MORE people. I wonder if I'll remember any of their names....I'm trying to remember the name of this one girl but I can't at all. She was funny. And yes...worked at WB I think...'shrug'...and these two other guys....fuck. One started with an "R"...I think. Shit....oh! The other was Dave....yes. Dave. Dave....

OH! This one girl there, Jade, has a roomate, Hillary, from Orchard Park (Buffalo)....so...that was amusing.
In the "Small World" kind of way.

Ok. So yeah...back to Okami. MAN this weekend would be considered such a waste by most people's standards. But I loved every couch-sitting, pizza-eating, juice-drinking, contacts-drying minute of it.

48 Hour BBQ: The Aftermath

Let me tell you a tale about the greatest BBQ man has ever seen...



It all started with a trip to Buffalo, NY. After a long days work in Hollywood, CA followed by a gruelling red-eye flight, Derek landed in Buffalo, NY where he was surprised by his parents and sister.
After spending the day with them Derek, and one of his bestest buddies Ron, took a trip to Wegmans (the greatest grocery store on Earth) and proceeded to buy over $300 worth of meat and beer. They then went to Ron's home where Derek, despite being tired as fuck, mustered up the energy to stay awake until sunrise constructing the greatest burgers man would ever taste.


Little did Derek know that when that much love and manliness is rubbed into ground beef...


...the magical Meat-Man appears and grants you three wishes!


Derek's first wish was to eat him.


His second wish was to sleep with Ron, something that used to be done with frequency, but was ended when Derek moved. (Ron, black as the night and twice as deadly, sleeps with both eyes open.)


Derek's third wish was to harness the power of the Enternal BBQ Flame of BBQ.


Content with his three wishes, Derek sat down next to another of his best buddies, Erik, and thought to himself, "Today is going to be a meaty day."


Soon after- the first of many burgers were BBQ'd, a bottle of Dinosaur BBQ Sauce close at hand!


Behold! The first 48 Hour BBQ Burger!


Eli (not pictured) volunteered to be the burger tester for this grand event. After mumbling "miffff fucgggg mmmmm!" with a full mouth, and giving a thumbs up signal, it had been decided that the meating was ready to begin.

This made Dudley and Jim happy.



The blood of many had been spilt on the Apron of BBQ.


While sitting next to his sister, Danielle, Derek comtemplated how the cat in the neighbors lawn would make for an excellent feline-jerky.


After eating much meat and still lacking any significant amount of sleep, Derek was offered a gift from Emily and Erik (also known as Emerik).
The gift of Type II Diabetes.
It was an offering of pizza made purely of sugar and high fructose corn syrup.


The dextrose dough was laid, then the sucrose sauce spread...


...topped with crystalline corn syrup cheese...


...and bits of pure gummy.


To see her brother consume such a concoction was far too much for Danielle to take. Alas, clutching a pillow didn't save Derek from his tooth-rot demise.


There was much drinking...


Constant argument over the "Pink Beer Cozey"...


And Eli was SOUSED! (later resulting in a locked car door, which we MANLY/drunkenly opened with a fucking clothes hanger, stick of wood, man-spatula and curtain rod. WOO! Fuck you AAA we're MEN!)


Actually...everybody was soused.


Derek was often caught surrounded by large groups of beautiful women.


As meat and beer filled the bowels of any living being within the power of the Enternal BBQ Flame of BBQ, the day slowly turned to night.


The stoop had become prime territory.


Even the ellusive OP was drawn from his dwelling in the bushes to partake in the behemoth bovine banquet.


Humans from every corner of the country gathered for this event of events.


As dark turned into light many went home to sleep and process their meat. Yet the mighty remained to drink, converse, and rock out! They were the determined few who kept the 48 BBQ alive.


After gallons of beer, pounds of meat, and grams of sugar, Derek grew delirious- exsisting in a reality where shoes-on-heads makes sense.


The aftermath of Day One left a grave sight of consumable goods behind.


Some had walked away...


...but many had fallen.


Even the pineapple couldn't escape unscathed.


For the "BBQ Warriors" it was a time to rest for some...


...and a time to sharpen weapons for others.


Day Two had commenced.


The Eternal BBQ Flame of BBQ was still strong, fueled by the souls of thousand of dead animals...and charcoal.


Nothing says good morning like some burgers, dogs, and a giant seasoned pork loin.


The scent of blood drew many a female, as well as some newly-weds.


Day Two was quieter than it's predecessor, but proved that in the company of friends quality is better than quantity...


...which is not the case for beer...



As eve grew, innocence turned into horny drunkeness...


...boobs were fondled...


...legs were humped...


...and clothing was optional.


Only one thing could tame the loins of the drunken BBQers. DRINKING JENGA.


A game of skill.


Concentration.


And inevitable drinking and stripping.


The night wore on, and by morning the souls of even the strongest had been shattered.


After well over 400 bottles of beer, 70 lbs. of meat, and 80-100 people, the bbq was comming to an end (except for Ron and Derek, who continued to BBQ for days...). It was an epic 48 hours.

48 Hours...of BBQ.




Alright, a good majority of close friends that showed up weren't pictured in the above story. It's unfortunate, but that's what happens when Derek doesn't bother to bring a digital camera and falls to the mercy of leeching pictures off of others.

That's it for now peeps. As Erik is thinking in the picture below "BLARGITY BLAR BLAR!"




P.S.-
I'm hoping to make the 48-Hour-BBQ a yearly thing. We'll have to see who stays where, but it seems to me, now that all of us are spread so thin across the country, we should make an annual reunion :)
Of BBQ.