2.21.2007

The Uncanny Valley

Your face is an uncanny valley. Biaaaatch!
http://www.arclight.net/~pdb/nonfiction/uncanny-valley.html


January 5 to Present Day
--------------------------
Wow, this time I really let myself go. It'll be impressive if I can do a semi-decent job of catching up...

Actually I'm just going to do a very half-ass job of it because I'm really really sick right now with some sort of super-Flu. It makes my joints all feel like someone pounded them with a hammer, and my eyes kinda burn just looking at the computer screens. Hey, at least the profuse sweating has stopped...

I saw "Pans Labyrinth" with Caroline (she had never been to the Arclight before!!!). It was really really good...and...Spanishy.
Also took her to trivia night 1 or 2 times, but then everyone stopped going for a while because of a video trailer project (mentioned later).

The new season of "24" started, as did "Lost", but in all honesty I've found "Heroes" to be the winner of my cathode-ray heart this winter television season.

Matt Ardine had a party. Good times were had. My soon-to-be intern, Andrew, was there. That was kinda nifty.
There was also a kid that brought his own brand of water, "U-Dubb 2 0." The label even had a self-proclaimed quote, "It's the realist water I've ever drunk."
You crazy Emerson-ites....

Gears of War has slowly taken over my evening life. Now that Brett and Matt (his bro), Erik and Emily, Steve, and a bunch of their friends play, it's like I'm right back on the East Coast...with...a chainsaw.
As an added bonus they all like to sleep, so I don't get stuck playing too late on my West Coast time zone...unlike them! SUCKAZ!

It is official!!! My parents will be moving to Lake Tahoe in a couple weeks! Damn that was quick...

Huh, at this point I had made a note to post a picture comparing Caroline's height next to mine. Since I still have no such photo (I don't think she'd appreciate if I posted the one comparing her height to a pillow) you will have to visualize me standing next to a miniature pony. With only 2 legs. And...yeah...I guess no tail....

I have interns slaving in the mines of Moviola at this point. One is a lady, and other is a gent. Um. I like them both? And ultimately have hung out with both of them outside of work. One of them is much more comfortable to hug...I'll let you determine whom on your own.

I haven't gone to Subway in quite some time. I fear I've broken Mango's (the gay cashier that likes to touch my hand while gazing into my eyes and reciting "Would you like to make that a..." 'wink' "...cooooooombo?") heart by now, and can't bear to stand up to what remains of his shattered soul.
And...I'm kinda sick of the turkey...

Alright, so remember that video trailer I had mentioned? There is a contest being held by Rob Rodriguez to make a 2 min. long 70's exploitation style trailer, in homage to his/Tarentino's soon-to-be released "Grindhouse."
Link to their trailer:
http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/grindhouse.html

So Don and a bunch of his fellow Emersonites (such as Erial, Doody, Sully, etc.) banded together and formed a production company under the name of Modern Exploits, who's first project was going to be shooting a trailer for the above competition.
I wasn't exactly invited into this project with open arms, assumabley because I'm not a full-blooded Emersononian, only an honorary one.
Perhaps if I shed the blood of a lamb...and lose my virginity to an Emersonian...on the eve of a full moon...on the 13th...of the 10th cycle...I can become one...?
Until then, I merely sit back and let them do the think-tanking. Then I provide them with equipment and give them a hand when needed.

I suppose this works out well because...well...imagine Derek in a room of self-proclaimed producers.
I can't imagine this scenario would defer greatly from that of a rabid fox accidentally wandering into a legless-hen roost.

Anyyyyyywho....here's a link to the final product (the first couple seconds seem to have some funky encoding issues, just wait it out) "Too Dead To Die":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv4rYh49530

The best part of the shoot was definitely having free range over an empty house that's about to be demolished...wait for it...in the middle of Beverly Hills. (In the video, it's the house with the pool...)

Kate bought a toy of significant proportion and named it after yours truly. In return if she ever gets married to an impotent man I will be first to volunteer to "help" them have a child.

Bought tickets for this years Coachella. It looks to be funking amazing...Gogol Bordello and Peaches will be there, and hell, Rage Against the Machine is re-uniting just for shits and giggles (supposedly only for this one show).
4 days of camping. 3 days of rocking. 2 days of being sun-burned. 1 day of not wanting to be back at work.
Can't wait.
Here's the line-up:


Caroline brought me to an event by the name of "Channel 101." It was pretty freakin' cool, basically you watch 10 pilots for possible TV shows and vote on 5 that you'd want to see the next episode. Those 5 then make the next episode, while also help voting in the next 5 candidates from anyone that wants to submit a pilot.
Very simple concept....very hilarious shit.
Apparently it's how Jack Black got his start (he did appear in one of the pilots that aired).
If you live in NYC you may want to check out Channel 102, it's the bastard child of the same concept...

I decided, while...impaired..., that seeing as to how there are different classes of drivers licenses, perhaps there should be a "Left on Red License." Because I for one know that I would be capable of upholding that license in a safe and responsible manner.
Of course...I decided this while impaired...

Watched "Idiocracy" and "Death of a President." Both of them were pretty damn entertaining, but both of them are also too political for most of the people I know, therefore do not deserve the raving reviews I would usually follow up the mention with.

Caroline and I are on a break? I'm not even going to get into this one right now.

Matt Sully had his Bday party at the Kibitz Room. Iiiiiit was pretty interesting. I'm gonna have to say that was the first time I've seen a what seemed-to-be 'Nam 'Vet make a "Gin and Tonic" using a high-ball glass, about 2 cups of vodka, and a dash of Guinness.
Aside from the obvious humor, screw-ups like this usually came free-of-charge...

I was supposed to hang out with Brenna for the 2nd time since the epic break-up (the first time was soon after it...and was kinda awkward). But she flaked out on me because now she's totally a flaky bitch.
I just got off the phone with her and told her I was about to write this part in my blog...see what you get for telling me to be nice?
She's a face too.

Had a funny antic dote at work. It all started with:
"WHO WAS VIDEO TAPING MY ASS!?!"
Suzie was testing a camera by putting one of our test-tapes in it to make sure it recorded and played back, and it appears that a day before I had inadvertently captured footage of Suzie's ass, which she saw upon review of the tape.
Now most girls I know would know that I try to hold myself above things like that, or at least being dumb enough to hit the record button while doing so. Truth be told, the camera was on the workbench which just happens to be about waist level. She was the only thing in the room that was already in front of the camera at that point, and at a far enough distance that I could zoom in and out and do some rack focusing. So I captured footage of her WAIST.
Meh...like you have an ass Suzie. ;)

Elise came to visit me, as did my parents (they figured they'd stop in L.A. while they were on their move to Nevada). Unfortunately my parents kept switching the arrival date so that it went from Saturday, to Friday, to Thursday- the day after Valentine's Day. Of course I felt obligated to hang out with Elise, which left Valentine's Day as the only viable option (for her time frame).

Unfortunately I had told Caroline I'd still be her Valentine previous to all of these changes (despite the fact that I didn't know being a Valentine obligated me to spend that evening with her...I guess that was just stupid on my part because every girl I've asked told me I was a retard and of course it meant I was going to spend that evening with her). So obviously it became quite the debacle/juggling act very quickly.

Yet here I stand, unscathed for the most part.

I got to hang out with Caroline in the afternoon, had a great time catching up with Elise (and getting rocked at Dr. Mario), and got to show my parents both Long Beach and NoHo (North Hollywood for you that aren't down with the lingo).
Both my parents were very sick though, so I didn't really get a chance to take them out anywhere neat, or do anything too unique with them (aside from drive them around a lot). BUT, that's o.k., because now they only live 8 hours from me :)

Saturday night I went out and met up with Suzie so I could witness her dancing skillz (yet to be seen at Club Moviola). In the process I somehow coaxed Steve, Chris and Andrew to drop by, so I didn't have to hold up the wall alone (even though they would actually dance...).

Sunday I spent a lot of time on the phone with Brenna, because apparently that's what we do now ('scratches head' didn't she used to HATE talking on the phone?).
Suzie came over and we watched "The Princess Bride." It was weird because I had all these vague memories of certain scenes that I never knew what movie it was from, and what do you know, it was this movie!
Of course around the time she came over was about the time it started to dawn on me that I had probably caught the virus my mom had (it was matching her symptoms).

And that leaves me where I am today. Sick as fuck and wondering if I'll be able to stay awake long enough to watch a sure to be shitty episode of Lost. (Is trivia night ever going to catch on again?)

I suppose I should leave you with some sort of reward for drudging through this swamp of vocabulary...go see "The Prestige." Honestly, I'd say it was the sleeper hit of the year. It was fucking outstanding.

New Years Part II: The Newer Year

Originally this was going to be a follow-up post for all the New Year's pictures that I hadn't put up yet. Seeing that more than 2 months have lapsed since then, all traces of desire to find said photos have left said Derek.

Instead I present to you something that took place a smidget before New Years:

Professor Derek & The Amazingly Spectacular Xmas Sweater Party Affair





2.06.2007

Snakes, like all reptiles, are incapable of learning.

This is because they lack the enlarged Cerebral Hemisphere found in birds and mammals, the part of the brain that controls learning and thought.

The following is my attempt to create a super-genius snake minion, complete with genetically altered brain DNA which contains the building blocks for an enlarged cerebral hemisphere.



I present to you Exhibit A, "Snake Egg." (Complete with plastic force-shield)


"Do Not Swallow" this Growing Pet. I severely doubt the claims of my super-genius snake being "Amusing," "Funny," and/or "Novel." But hey, I'm not the super-genius snake here.


It appears the writer of these instructions was no super-genius snake either.
???"...fill with water till water level upper egg."???
???"...the egg shell will break...slowly then the pet hasten out of the shell."???
???"Please keep the full water into the container."???


In blatant disregard to the directions provided, I first filled the cup with water AND then proceeded to place the egg in the cup (as opposed to visa versa). Already I have begun to fuck up my super-genius snake egg hatchery.


Or perhaps I'm teaching it to swim while it is young.


OOOoooooooooh boy....uh...kick your legs! kick your legs and I promise you won't sink! What's that? There's water in your eyes? Blink! Blink! Blink! Blink! Blink!


'Stretches shirt collar'....EEEEEeeeeee...'walks the other way'


Hour 1: As you can see, an hour later and the snake egg is already forming air bubbles on the outer-side of it's shell. How FASCINATING! I haven't had this much fun since I watched paint dry!


Hour 2: I believe the bubble on the surface of the water was snakey's last breathe of air. Few people are aware that super-genius snakes require niether oxygen nor source of warmth.


Hour 3: A crack starts to form! 'Holds breathe in suspense'


Hour 4: 'Passed out from holding breathe'


Hour 5: 'Yawn' He sure is taking a while...


Hour 6: Boy howdy! There has been some real progress in...the...cracking...of...the shell...'cough'...note the perfect hexagonal crack pattern taking place at the mid-section of the shell, this is a DISTINCT indication of a super-genius snake egg.


Hour 7: As you can see, the super snake is carefully (i.e. Very Slowly) pecking away at his shell...one hexagon at a time...


Hour 8: 'Taps foot'....'looks at watch'


Hour 9: BY JOVE! I think I just saw some movement! FASCINATING!


Hour 9: The incubation was initiated at Moviola Labs Inc. I took it upon my awesomely-academic self to bring the egg home with me so that I could closely monitor the progress of our reptilian Poindexter.


Hour 10: No Jay, you may not feed it Pizza Hut.


Hour 11: Notice the legless super-genius has been working on the top section of the egg shell in a most precise fashion. Nature truly is amazing.


Hour 12: I think he took an hour break, a "ciesta" if you will. Hey man, super-genii need rest too!


Hour 13: Astounding! The snake just mumbled "Heads up! I'm comming out!" It can already talk!


Hour 14: In a violent explosion, he has released himself from the bonds of calcium and shackles of protein.


Hour 15: 'Clears throat'....I SAID, In a violent explosion, he has released himself from the bonds of calcium and shackles of protein!!!


Hour 16: IN A VIOLENT EXPLOSION, HE HAS RELEASED HIMSELF FROM THE BONDS OF CALCIUM AND SHACKLES OF PROTEIN.


Hour 17: Ok...clearly he is staying in his shell in display of an advanced form of self-defense.


Hour 22: Wakey wakey eggs n' bacy!!!


Hour 23: Huh...it appears he likes to sleep in.


Hour 24: Happy one day of exsistence!


Hour 25: Ugh...this is just getting BORING.


Hour 26: Perhaps if I provoke him with that pen...


Hour 27: Oh christ! He's pissed!!! (FYI: Don't mess with super-genius snakes)


Hour 28: He seems to have crafted some sort of shanty out of his shell.


Hour 29: Alas! He rears his ugly head of geniusness!


Hour 30: What's that lil' fella'? You're hungry? For what? BRAINS!?!


Hour 31: a90sdufj kasnvsa8df 98wy4Y (& YJBQEFY(gf


Hello. This is Nec-Tar, super-genius snake, speaking. I have eaten the brains of your colleague Der-Rek.
Before his death Der-Rek offered the brains of all known friends in exchange that he may keep his. Instead I've decided to eat his, and am now currently logging and tracking all IP Addresses visiting this site.

I am also currently debating the following riddle:
You approach two talking doors. One door leads to the City of Truth, while the other door leads to the City of Liars. You do not know which door is which. You are able to ask only one question to determine which door is which. The door that leads to the City of Liars always speaks lies, while the door that leads to the City of Truth always speaks the truth. You want to go to the City of Truth. What question do you ask to determine which door leads to the City of Truth.

I determined I would ask a door, "If I were to ask the other door which door leads to the city of truth, what would he say?" I would then pick the opposite door of what he told me.

I'm a freggin' super-genius.

Snake.

2.05.2007

Don't read this if you're illiterate.

I promise I will have an update soon. In the mean time you should check out this awesome short story...

The Last Question

By Isaac Asimov
This is by far my favorite story of all those I have written. After all, I undertook to tell several trillion years of human history in the space of a short story and I leave it to you as to how well I succeeded. I also undertook another task, but I won't tell you what that was lest l spoil the story for you. It is a curious fact that innumerable readers have asked me if I wrote this story. They seem never to remember the title of the story or (for sure) the author, except for the vague thought it might be me. But, of course, they never forget the story itself especially the ending. The idea seems to drown out everything -- and I'm satisfied that it should.

The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five-dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way:

Alexander Adell and Bertram Lupov were two of the faithful attendants of Multivac. As well as any human beings could, they knew what lay behind the cold, clicking, flashing face -- miles and miles of face -- of that giant computer. They had at least a vague notion of the general plan of relays and circuits that had long since grown past the point where any single human could possibly have a firm grasp of the whole.

Multivac was self-adjusting and self-correcting. It had to be, for nothing human could adjust and correct it quickly enough or even adequately enough. So Adell and Lupov attended the monstrous giant only lightly and superficially, yet as well as any men could. They fed it data, adjusted questions to its needs and translated the answers that were issued. Certainly they, and all others like them, were fully entitled to share in the glory that was Multivac's.

For decades, Multivac had helped design the ships and plot the trajectories that enabled man to reach the Moon, Mars, and Venus, but past that, Earth's poor resources could not support the ships. Too much energy was needed for the long trips. Earth exploited its coal and uranium with increasing efficiency, but there was only so much of both.

But slowly Multivac learned enough to answer deeper questions more fundamentally, and on May 14, 2061, what had been theory, became fact.

The energy of the sun was stored, converted, and utilized directly on a planet-wide scale. All Earth turned off its burning coal, its fissioning uranium, and flipped the switch that connected all of it to a small station, one mile in diameter, circling the Earth at half the distance of the Moon. All Earth ran by invisible beams of sunpower.

Seven days had not sufficed to dim the glory of it and Adell and Lupov finally managed to escape from the public functions, and to meet in quiet where no one would think of looking for them, in the deserted underground chambers, where portions of the mighty buried body of Multivac showed. Unattended, idling, sorting data with contented lazy clickings, Multivac, too, had earned its vacation and the boys appreciated that. They had no intention, originally, of disturbing it.

They had brought a bottle with them, and their only concern at the moment was to relax in the company of each other and the bottle.

"It's amazing when you think of it," said Adell. His broad face had lines of weariness in it, and he stirred his drink slowly with a glass rod, watching the cubes of ice slur clumsily about. "All the energy we can possibly ever use for free. Enough energy, if we wanted to draw on it, to melt all Earth into a big drop of impure liquid iron, and still never miss the energy so used. All the energy we could ever use, forever and forever and forever."

Lupov cocked his head sideways. He had a trick of doing that when he wanted to be contrary, and he wanted to be contrary now, partly because he had had to carry the ice and glassware. "Not forever," he said.

"Oh, hell, just about forever. Till the sun runs down, Bert."

"That's not forever."

"All right, then. Billions and billions of years. Ten billion, maybe. Are you satisfied?"

Lupov put his fingers through his thinning hair as though to reassure himself that some was still left and sipped gently at his own drink. "Ten billion years isn't forever."

"Well, it will last our time, won't it?"

"So would the coal and uranium."

"All right, but now we can hook up each individual spaceship to the Solar Station, and it can go to Pluto and back a million times without ever worrying about fuel. You can't do that on coal and uranium. Ask Multivac, if you don't believe me.

"I don't have to ask Multivac. I know that."

"Then stop running down what Multivac's done for us," said Adell, blazing up, "It did all right."

"Who says it didn't? What I say is that a sun won't last forever. That's all I'm saying. We're safe for ten billion years, but then what?" Lupow pointed a slightly shaky finger at the other. "And don't say we'll switch to another sun."

There was silence for a while. Adell put his glass to his lips only occasionally, and Lupov's eyes slowly closed. They rested.

Then Lupov's eyes snapped open. "You're thinking we'll switch to another sun when ours is done, aren't you?"

"I'm not thinking."

"Sure you are. You're weak on logic, that's the trouble with you. You're like the guy in the story who was caught in a sudden shower and who ran to a grove of trees and got under one. He wasn't worried, you see, because he figured when one tree got wet through, he would just get under another one."

"I get it," said Adell. "Don't shout. When the sun is done, the other stars will be gone, too."

"Darn right they will," muttered Lupov. "It all had a beginning in the original cosmic explosion, whatever that was, and it'll all have an end when all the stars run down. Some run down faster than others. Hell, the giants won't last a hundred million years. The sun will last ten billion years and maybe the dwarfs will last two hundred billion for all the good they are. But just give us a trillion years and everything will be dark. Entropy has to increase to maximum, that's all."

"I know all about entropy," said Adell, standing on his dignity.

"The hell you do."

"I know as much as you do."

"Then you know everything's got to run down someday."

"All right. Who says they won't?"

"You did, you poor sap. You said we had all the energy we needed, forever. You said 'forever.'

It was Adell's turn to be contrary. "Maybe we can build things up again someday," he said.

"Never."

"Why not? Someday."

"Never."

"Ask Multivac."

"You ask Multivac. I dare you. Five dollars says it can't be done."

Adell was just drunk enough to try, just sober enough to be able to phrase the necessary symbols and operations into a question which, in words, might have corresponded to this: Will mankind one day without the net expenditure of energy be able to restore the sun to its full youthfulness even after it had died of old age?

Or maybe it could be put more simply like this: How can the net amount of entropy of the universe be massively decreased?

Multivac fell dead and silent. The slow flashing of lights ceased, the distant sounds of clicking relays ended.

Then, just as the frightened technicians felt they could hold their breath no longer, there was a sudden springing to life of the teletype attached to that portion of Multivac. Five words were printed: INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

"No bet," whispered Lupov. They left hurriedly.

By next morning, the two, plagued with throbbing head and cottony mouth, had forgotten the incident.

Jerrodd, Jerrodine, and Jerrodette I and II watched the starry picture in the visiplate change as the passage through hyperspace was completed in its non-time lapse. At once, the even powdering of stars gave way to the predominance of a single bright shining disk, the size of a marble, centered on the viewing-screen.

"That's X-23," said Jerrodd confidently. His thin hands clamped tightly behind his back and the knuckles whitened.

The little Jerrodettes, both girls, had experienced the hyperspace passage for the first time in their lives and were self-conscious over the momentary sensation of insideoutness. They buried their giggles and chased one another wildly about their mother, screaming, "We've reached X-23 -- we've reached X-23 -- we've --"

"Quiet, children." said Jerrodine sharply. "Are you sure, Jerrodd?"

"What is there to be but sure?" asked Jerrodd, glancing up at the bulge of featureless metal just under the ceiling. It ran the length of the room, disappearing through the wall at either end. It was as long as the ship.

Jerrodd scarcely knew a thing about the thick rod of metal except that it was called a Microvac, that one asked it questions if one wished; that if one did not it still had its task of guiding the ship to a preordered destination; of feeding on energies from the various Sub-galactic Power Stations; of computing the equations for the hyperspatial jumps.

Jerrodd and his family had only to wait and live in the comfortable residence quarters of the ship. Someone had once told Jerrodd that the "ac" at the end of "Microvac" stood for ''automatic computer" in ancient English, but he was on the edge of forgetting even that.

Jerrodine's eyes were moist as she watched the visiplate. "I can't help it. I feel funny about leaving Earth."

"Why, for Pete's sake?" demanded Jerrodd. "We had nothing there. We'll have everything on X-23. You won't be alone. You won't be a pioneer. There are over a million people on the planet already. Good Lord, our great-grandchildren will be looking for new worlds because X-23 will be overcrowded." Then, after a reflective pause, "I tell you, it's a lucky thing the computers worked out interstellar travel the way the race is growing."

"I know, I know," said Jerrodine miserably.

Jerrodette I said promptly, "Our Microvac is the best Microvac in the world."

"I think so, too," said Jerrodd, tousling her hair.

It was a nice feeling to have a Microvac of your own and Jerrodd was glad he was part of his generation and no other. In his father's youth, the only computers had been tremendous machines taking up a hundred square miles of land. There was only one to a planet. Planetary ACs they were called. They had been growing in size steadily for a thousand years and then, all at once, came refinement. In place of transistors, had come molecular valves so that even the largest Planetary AC could be put into a space only half the volume of a spaceship.

Jerrodd felt uplifted, as he always did when he thought that his own personal Microvac was many times more complicated than the ancient and primitive Multivac that had first tamed the Sun, and almost as complicated as Earth's Planetarv AC (the largest) that had first solved the problem of hyperspatial travel and had made trips to the stars possible.

"So many stars, so many planets," sighed Jerrodine, busy with her own thoughts. "I suppose families will be going out to new planets forever, the way we are now."

"Not forever," said Jerrodd, with a smile. "It will all stop someday, but not for billions of years. Many billions. Even the stars run down, you know. Entropy must increase.

"What's entropy, daddy?" shrilled Jerrodette II.

"Entropy, little sweet, is just a word which means the amount of running-down of the universe. Everything runs down, you know, like your little walkie-talkie robot, remember?"

"Can't you just put in a new power-unit, like with my robot?"

"The stars are the power-units. dear. Once they're gone, there are no more power-units."

Jerrodette I at once set up a howl. "Don't let them, daddy. Don't let the stars run down."

"Now look what you've done," whispered Jerrodine, exasperated.

"How was I to know it would frighten them?" Jerrodd whispered back,

"Ask the Microvac," wailed Jerrodette I. "Ask him how to turn the stars on again."

"Go ahead," said Jerrodine. "It will quiet them down." (Jerrodette II was beginning to cry, also.)

Jerrodd shrugged. "Now, now, honeys. I'll ask Microvac. Don't worry, he'll tell us."

He asked the Microvac, adding quickly, "Print the answer."

Jerrodd cupped the strip or thin cellufilm and said cheerfully, "See now, the Microvac says it will take care of everything when the time comes so don't worry."

Jerrodine said, "And now, children, it's time for bed. We'll be in our new home soon."

Jerrodd read the words on the cellufilm again before destroying it: INSUFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

He shrugged and looked at the visiplate. X-23 was just ahead.

VJ-23X of Lameth stared into the black depths of the three-dimensional, small-scale map of the Galaxy and said, "Are we ridiculous, I wonder in being so concerned about the matter?"

MQ-17J of Nicron shook his head. "I think not. You know the Galaxy will be filled in five years at the present rate of expansion."

Both seemed in their early twenties, both were tall and perfectly formed.

"Still," said VJ-23X, "I hesitate to submit a pessimistic report to the Galactic Council."

"I wouldn't consider any other kind of report. Stir them up a bit. We've got to stir them up."

VJ-23X sighed. "Space is infinite. A hundred billion Galaxies are there for the taking. More."

"A hundred billion is not infinite and it's getting less infinite all the time. Consider! Twenty thousand years ago, mankind first solved the problem of utilizing stellar energy, and a few centuries later, interstellar travel became possible. It took mankind a million years to fill one small world and then only fifteen thousand years to fill the rest of the Galaxy. Now the population doubles every ten years --

VJ-23X interrupted. "We can thank immortality for that."

"Very well. Immortality exists and we have to take it into account. I admit it has its seamy side, this immortality. The Galactic AC has solved many problems for us, but in solving the problem of preventing old age and death, it has undone all its other solutions."

"Yet you wouldn't want to abandon life, I suppose."

"Not at all," snapped MQ-17J, softening it at once to, "Not yet. I'm by no means old enough. How old are you?"

"Two hundred twenty-three. And you?"

"I'm still under two hundred. --But to get back to my point. Population doubles every ten years. Once this GaIaxy is filled, we'll have filled another in ten years. Another ten years and we'll have filled two more. Another decade, four more. In a hundred years, we'll have filled a thousand Galaxies. In a thousand years, a million Galaxies. In ten thousand years, the entire known universe. Then what?"

VJ-23X said, "As a side issue, there's a problem of transportation. I wonder how many sunpower units it will take to move Galaxies of individuals from one Galaxy to the next."

"A very good point. Already, mankind consumes two sunpower units per year."

"Most of it's wasted. After all, our own Galaxy alone pours out a thousand sunpower units a year and we only use two of those."

"Granted, but even with a hundred per cent efficiency, we only stave off the end. Our energy requirements are going up in a geometric progression even faster than our population. We'll run out of energy even sooner than we run out of Galaxies. A good point. A very good point."

"We'll just have to build new stars out of interstellar gas."

"Or out of dissipated heat?" asked MQ-17J, sarcastically.

"There may be some way to reverse entropy. We ought to ask the Galactic AC."

VJ-23X was not really serious, but MQ-17J pulled out his AC-contact from his pocket and placed it on the table before him.

"I've half a mind to," he said. "It's something the human race will have to face someday."

He stared somberly at his small AC-contact. It was only two inches cubed and nothing in itself, but it was connected through hyperspace with the great Galactic AC that served all mankind. Hyperspace considered, it was an integral part of the Galactic AC.

MQ-17J paused to wonder if someday in his immortal life he would get to see the Galactic AC. It was on a little world of its own, a spider webbing of force-beams holding the matter within which surges of submesons took the place of the old clumsy molecular valves. Yet despite its sub-etheric workings, the Galactic AC was known to be a full thousand feet across.

MQ-17J asked suddenly of his AC-contact, "Can entropy ever be reversed?"

VJ-23X looked startled and said at once, "Oh, say, I didn't really mean to have you ask that."

"Why not?"

"We both know entropy can't be reversed. You can't turn smoke and ash back into a tree."

"Do you have trees on your world?" asked MQ-17J.

The sound of the Galactic AC startled them into silence. Its voice came thin and beautiful out of the small AC-contact on the desk. It said: THERE IS INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

VJ-23X said, "See!"

The two men thereupon returned to the question of the report they were to make to the Galactic Council.

Zee Prime's mind spanned the new Galaxy with a faint interest in the countless twists of stars that powdered it. He had never seen this one before. Would he ever see them all? So many of them, each with its load of humanity. --But a load that was almost a dead weight. More and more, the real essence of men was to be found out here, in space.

Minds, not bodies! The immortal bodies remained back on the planets, in suspension over the eons. Sometimes they roused for material activity but that was growing rarer. Few new individuals were coming into existence to join the incredibly mighty throng, but what matter? There was little room in the Universe for new individuals.

Zee Prime was roused out of his reverie upon coming across the wispy tendrils of another mind.

"I am Zee Prime," said Zee Prime. "And you?"

"I am Dee Sub Wun. Your Galaxy?"

"We call it only the Galaxy. And you?"

"We call ours the same. All men call their Galaxy their Galaxy and nothing more. Why not?"

"True. Since all Galaxies are the same."

"Not all Galaxies. On one particular Galaxy the race of man must have originated. That makes it different."

Zee Prime said, "On which one?"

"I cannot say. The Universal AC would know."

"Shall we ask him? I am suddenly curious."

Zee Prime's perceptions broadened until the Galaxies themselves shrank and became a new, more diffuse powdering on a much larger background. So many hundreds of billions of them, all with their immortal beings, all carrying their load of intelligences with minds that drifted freely through space. And yet one of them was unique among them all in being the original Galaxy. One of them had, in its vague and distant past, a period when it was the only Galaxy populated by man.

Zee Prime was consumed with curiosity to see this Galaxy and he called out: "Universal AC! On which Galaxy did mankind originate?"

The Universal AC heard, for on every world and throughout space, it had its receptors ready, and each receptor led through hyperspace to some unknown point where the Universal AC kept itself aloof.

Zee Prime knew of only one man whose thoughts had penetrated within sensing distance of Universal AC, and he reported only a shining globe, two feet across, difficult to see.

"But how can that be all of Universal AC?" Zee Prime had asked.

"Most of it," had been the answer, "is in hyperspace. In what form it is there I cannot imagine."

Nor could anyone, for the day had long since passed, Zee Prime knew, when any man had any part of the making of a Universal AC. Each Universal AC designed and constructed its successor. Each, during its existence of a million years or more accumulated the necessary data to build a better and more intricate, more capable successor in which its own store of data and individuality would be submerged.

The Universal AC interrupted Zee Prime's wandering thoughts, not with words, but with guidance. Zee Prime's mentality was guided into the dim sea of Galaxies and one in particular enlarged into stars.

A thought came, infinitely distant, but infinitely clear. "THIS IS THE ORIGINAL GALAXY OF MAN."

But it was the same after all, the same as any other, and Lee Prime stifled his disappointment.

Dee Sub Wun, whose mind had accompanied the other, said suddenly, "And is one of these stars the original star of Man?"

The Universal AC said, "MAN'S ORIGINAL STAR HAS GONE NOVA. IT IS A WHITE DWARF"

"Did the men upon it die?" asked Lee Prime, startled and without thinking.

The Universal AC said, "A NEW WORLD, AS IN SUCH CASES WAS CONSTRUCTED FOR THEIR PHYSICAL BODIES IN TlME."

"Yes, of course," said Zee Prime, but a sense of loss overwhelmed him even so. His mind released its hold on the original Galaxy of Man, let it spring back and lose itself among the blurred pin points. He never wanted to see it again.

Dee Sub Wun said, "What is wrong?"

"The stars are dying. The original star is dead."

"They must all die. Why not?"

"But when all energy is gone, our bodies will finally die, and you and I with them."

"It will take billions of years."

"I do not wish it to happen even after billions of years. Universal AC! How may stars be kept from dying?"

Dee Sub Wun said in amusement, "You're asking how entropy might be reversed in direction."

And the Universal AC answered: "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."

Zee Prime's thoughts fled back to his own Galaxy. He gave no further thought to Dee Sub Wun, whose body might be waiting on a Galaxy a trillion light-years away, or on the star next to Zee Prime's own. It didn't matter.

Unhappily, Zee Prime began collecting interstellar hydrogen out of which to build a small star of his own. If the stars must someday die, at least some could yet be built.

Man considered with himself, for in a way, Man, mentally, was one. He consisted of a trillion, trillion, trillion ageless bodies, each in its place, each resting quiet and incorruptible, each cared for by perfect automatons, equally incorruptible, while the minds of all the bodies freely melted one into the other, indistinguishable.

Man said, "The Universe is dying."

Man looked about at the dimming Galaxies. The giant stars, spendthrifts, were gone long ago, back in the dimmest of the dim far past. Almost all stars were white dwarfs, fading to the end.

New stars had been built of the dust between the stars, some by natural processes, some by Man himself, and those were going, too. White dwarfs might yet be crashed together and of the mighty forces so released, new stars built, but only one star for every thousand white dwarfs destroyed, and those would come to an end, too.

Man said, "Carefully husbanded, as directed by the Cosmic AC, the energy that is even yet left in all the Universe will last for billions of years."

"But even so," said Man, "eventually it will all come to an end. However it may be husbanded, however stretched out, the energy once expended is gone and cannot be restored. Entropy must increase forever to the maximum."

Man said, "Can entropy not be reversed? Let us ask the Cosmic AC."

The Cosmic AC surrounded them but not in space. Not a fragment of it was in space. It was in hyperspace and made of something that was neither matter nor energy. The question of its size and nature no longer had meaning in any terms that Man could comprehend.

"Cosmic AC," said Man, "how may entropy be reversed?"

The Cosmic AC said, "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."

Man said, "Collect additional data."

The Cosmic AC said, 'I WILL DO S0. I HAVE BEEN DOING SO FOR A HUNDRED BILLION YEARS. MY PREDECESORS AND I HAVE BEEN ASKED THIS QUESTION MANY TlMES. ALL THE DATA I HAVE REMAINS INSUFFICIENT.

"Will there come a time," said Man, 'when data will be sufficient or is the problem insoluble in all conceivable circumstances?"

The Cosmic AC said, "NO PROBLEM IS INSOLUBLE IN ALL CONCEIVABLE CIRCUMSTANCES."

Man said, "When will you have enough data to answer the question?"

The Cosmic AC said, "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."

"Will you keep working on it?" asked Man.

The Cosmic AC said, "I WILL."

Man said, "We shall wait."

The stars and Galaxies died and snuffed out, and space grew black after ten trillion years of running down.

One by one Man fused with AC, each physical body losing its mental identity in a manner that was somehow not a loss but a gain.

Man's last mind paused before fusion, looking over a space that included nothing but the dregs of one last dark star and nothing besides but incredibly thin matter, agitated randomly by the tag ends of heat wearing out, asymptotically, to the absolute zero.

Man said, "AC, is this the end? Can this chaos not be reversed into the Universe once more? Can that not be done?"

AC said, "THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER."

Man's last mind fused and only AC existed -- and that in hyperspace.

Matter and energy had ended and with it space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer [technician] ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.

All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.

All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.

But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible relationships.

A timeless interval was spent in doing that.

And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy.

But there was now no man to whom AC might give the answer of the last question. No matter. The answer -- by demonstration -- would take care of that, too.

For another timeless interval, AC thought how best to do this. Carefully, AC organized the program.

The consciousness of AC encompassed all of what had once been a Universe and brooded over what was now Chaos. Step by step, it must be done.

And AC said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

And there was light --