Pants if you've got pants in your pants!!!

....which may require hot pants.

Alright, yeah...I'm doin' reallllll good here on keepin' this thing updated.......yeeeeeup......

The past couple weeks weren't incredably eventful. Basically one of them was so un-eventful that I don't even remember it, and the other one consisted of me getting sick and laying around blowing snot everywhere. The past two days have been pretty crazy, so maybe this week will be eXtreme. If so, I'd like to declare it "WeeXtreme!!!"

Last night I had a dream about Anna (a.k.a. "Scary Red Head") and Verena (german chick who worked on Poultrygeist) making out on the set of Poultrygeist. For some reason Brenna and I were throwing dollar bills and coupons at them.
I'd have to say this is the only dream I remember having about girls I know making out. Perhaps next time Brenna and I will be doing something else with them, 'wink' 'wink'.

Like clubbing baby seals.

So yeah, that is by far the best dream I've had since I've updated last, but not the only titillating event to take place in the "Erotic Life of Derek."
Yes...my life has a title now.

Ok a guy I work with (one of the two I always work with), just told me Brokeback Mountain was actually a really, really good movie. Just in case you haven't been down with the Hollywood scene, or you're not a raging homo, it's a love movie about gay cowboys.
Now I have nothing against gay people (I think lesbians are fucking hot, and gay guys...well...uh...someone has to decorate rooms for home-design magazines...), hell if Brokeback Mountain was a love story about two straight cowboys I'd probably be even less interested in it, but there's something SO, SO gay about a straight guy saying that that movie was good. It's one of those things where he may be right, and the movie might win tons and tons of awards (which I'm sure it will), but still...that's just gay.
Just because Titanic was a "great" movie and won tons of awards, I'd still consider that movie to be pretty gay as well.
Don't get me wrong, I very much dislike homophobes, and wish our present-day coulture would be mature enough to embrace the homosexual lifestyle as a valid lifestyle, and it seems that everyone in my generation and below already has excepted homosexuality as a fact of life. But STILL, I will remain a geek with a penis who loves video games, outrageously expensive electronic stuff with lights that blink, and ninja movies with chicks with big tits in them, and at any point if someone I know asks me to rate a homosexual cowboy love story I would be defying my own exsistence by ever admitting that it was anything other than just plain GAY.

Hell, toss me a movie about a love story between homosexual asian female ninjas and/or pirates and I'm there. I'm there with fuckin pants off.

Moving forward into a less perverse topic, this morning on my way to work the subway was absolutely empty. You know why? Cause it's Martin Luther King Day. The holiday that only non-white people and federal workers get to have off.
So it was kinda wierd, but it good because I just got my new bike (more detail later) and it was a good practise run before I have to deal with hordes of stinky people during rush hour on the train. Still, it was kinda creepy. So about half way through my ride I was thinking, "Wow, this train is prrrrrrretty empty. Yup. It'd be cool if all of the sudden tons of people just got on, then I wouldn't feel so weird."
I swear to the god I don't believe in, that very moment the train arrived at the next stop and in flowed about thirty asian college girls. Never before have I actually hurt my face trying not to smile.

The only problem with the situation was that I had to stand up a couple stops later.

So I got to work and a few hours later we started interviewing for our new interns. Nothing to exciting, just lots of "You gonna be ma' bitch FOO!" and whatnot. Lots of dudes....loooots of dudes....and one chick. She was cool, but I don't think she's gonna make the cut. Yay sausage-fest. Yay.

Alright, moving backwards in time, since my blog is not bound by your petty human "timeline," I'm going to talk about yesterday. One of the greatest days ever.

Plus I got laid.

So yeah...since I was feeling better after a week of hell-like fever temperatures and mucus....just everywhere, I was all psyched to go to Universal Studios! Cause Brenna and I had the same day off AND on a weekend! But Brenna was feeling sick, apparently she caught what I had, even though I thought I had some sort of Voltron-esque virus in me made in combination from the sicknesses EVERYONE had over xmas break (co-workers, family, and friends were all, ALL, sick). As sick as "Voltron" made Brenna, she still went to Universal Studios with me.

My girlfriend defeated Voltron. That's hot.

Before we went to Universal though, we shaved my head and bought bikes! My bike is supersweet. And yes, it does go off jumps. Hard.

That's about it...Jon and Andrea are comming this week, then I got Eli lined up in a couple months, then Emily, Erik, Ben, Kate and Sean for E3. I'm kinda surprised people are actually visiting us, which implies they actually like us and/or can tolerate us to enjoy warmer weather.

Alright, time for the super exciting picture part of the blog!!!

Remember the Homer-Chia I got for xmas from Steve (my boss...coworker...dude)? Here's the picks of it's progress. As of now it is dead. Oh well, Homer wasn't meant to have hair!










At this point I had to leave for a week and a half for Xmas break, so I stuck him under our sink and left the water dripping...very very slowly. Chinese water torture homer-chia wooo! And this is what he looked like when we got back:





Here's some random pics:

Batteries I found buried in an old box at work. It's fuckin Astro Boy! The main character of a zany 2-D scroller video game!!! How sweet is that!?!


A fountain in Detroit's airport. There are super narrow holes (it's a flat surface with water running down and around the curved edges of the huge granite "platform") that shoot out jets of water in short bursts into the middle, so it looks like there are just tubes of water flying around...it's super cool. Here's a link to a movie of it, http://users.adelphia.net/~derekheck/MVI_1213.avi,I suggest watching it if you want to pee your pants with coolness.


This is a box of mac and cheese Brenna bought me. Not only is it as cool as mac and cheese with green ketchup in it, it EXCEEDS the coolness by also being green itself. I can't imagine the awesome green poop I would have after eating this with green ketchup. It makes my face green!


These are the new monitors I ordered. It's hard to explain the amount of excitment I got from them because...I've been wanting LCD monitors for about 5 years now but have just been waiting for them to get better and cheaper. Well, alas, I got my geeky way! Plus you can see my new 250gig harddrive in-between them, that's where all my video editing goes :)


This is our new garage that we're renting from our landlords. It serves as more storage space, a place to park our bikes, and THANK GOD a place for at least one car to park. The street parking around here suXorz.


This is my new bike Brenna got me!!!! WEEEEE!!!! I ride it to work and hit people in the subway train with it!! WOOO!!!


This is me riding it (in my work swag). I'm.....getting better....


Brenna's new bike that I got her :)






Grrrr....ummm....I guess that's about it. Lets see if I can update again in a reasonable amount of time!

p.s. Last night Brenna's car lost a lot of brake fluid, so she had to get towed home. So when she got home she called me down to meet the tow truck dude. I was like......oooOOOoookay...? He's an older guy, but he lives very close to us. Definately a hippy dude. He likes jam bands like Mars Volta and the String Cheese Incident, and I guess he's always randomly having lots of people over for food, weed, beer, and music. Kickass. So we're definately going to try and hang out with those folks. He even gave Brenna a sample of the "white widow" he had on him. Awesome, aweome guy, EXTREMELy friendly :) We were supposed to go to his house tonight for tacos but lack the motivation (I keep having really rough days and comming home with very little energy). Ok, that's it fo rizzeal!

COMMING SOON!!

Yeah, I have an update that's damn close to ready to put up, but there are still some pictures I want to take to put in it. I thought it was going to go up last night but due to unexpected broken trains, broken cars, broken garages, broken people, and broken relationships I fell behind. Hopefully the majority of those broken things will be a little less broke today. Look for the update soon though :)



Fine, I'll explain the brokens:
Train- the train home had broken power lines so we stopped at every stop for 15 min., eventually resulting in me riding my bike home a couple miles.

Car-Brenna's car broke....again. Brake lines are probably rusted out, she needed to get towed home.

Garage- Would have loved to put my car in it, but there was a massive truck parked in front of it all night. Thanks LBC Police, if my car was parked illegally you'd be on it in a heart-beat, but don't worry about the dude in front of my fucking garage.

People- Brenna's bro(ther) needs to stay with us for a month or two, he's getting booted from his current residence and needs a place to stay to save up moneys.

Relationship- mind your own goddamn business foo.